What's in YOUR lyrical toolbox?

[dwoz]

Just finished reading a critique here that Mixerman did for BIGDOG.

In it, he excoriates her for essentially being a "one-trick-pony"...heavily relying on a single lyric "tool" to do her work. You know how the saying goes..."if you've only got a hammer, every problem tends to look like a nail".

So, I thought it would be a useful exercise to talk about some of the various lyrical "tools" that we have at our disposal, that can help add interest and excitement in our lyrics.

As Mixerman alludes to in his rather excellent analysis of BIGDOG's lyrics, the typical listener doesn't sit there and say, "oh, how interesting...the lyricist accomplished an acceleration by way of an inner rhyme". What they DO do is to subconsciously recognize patterns and relationships, and entirely without thinking about it, they arrange those patterns to extract meaning.

They do this IN SPITE OF YOU. If you do not "lead them by the hand,” they will go places you don't expect, and that you don't want them to go. They will walk down blind alleys, trying to make sense of the patterns their subconscious is inventing in your lyrics, and come up against a dead end. Then they will abandon you.

Writing effective lyrics is NOTHING about 'following rules'.... its all about using your tools effectively, and COMPELLING the listener to go where you want them to.

So, over the next few weeks, I'm going to take a stab at each of these tools, and try to discuss some places you might use them. Please feel free to jump in and contribute, interject, question, challenge!

dwoz


Repetitions of words/phrases


Repetitions of patterns


Syllabic rhythm and patterns


Rhyme


Inner Rhyme


Non Rhyme or broken rhyme


Alliteration


Accelerations and decelerations


Prosody


Syllabic Emphasis vs. rythmic emphasis (or, em-PHAS-is)


pauses and stops.

[Mixerpuppet]

Crap!!!!


I usually just let the music drive... almost like the vocals are trying to cry out and escape being trapped inside an instrumental...

Now I have to think about other stuff???

Could it be possible to get an idea of some examples where these different tools are used?

Im a lyric newbie :)

Thanks

[st robert]

as i usually find lyrics to be the most challenging part of the writing, i am looking forward to more of the theory of the lyrics, i.e why something seems to work.

the internal filters employed in lyric writing for me depend on the rest of the song, and it seems odd to me that lyrics can be written, divorced from the music itself, since i write things more or less concurrently.

i understand how it can be written lyrics-first, but the lyrics had better be solidly engaging in many of the above ways. i write lyrics later after the song has presented me with the things it needs from the lyric line.

this should be a great peek into the minds of the lyricicsts; those same filters are totally dependent upon education, literal background and personal experience.

what to write about? how to say it? what reason is there for the listener to give one flying fuck about what is being said?

for my part, i use a lot of repetition of cadence and almost rhyme to help out words that mean something to me, but don't quite match each other so well in a truly rhyming way.

lyrics 101

i can't wait...

rob

[Fulcrum]

This looks like it's going to be some fun. I've actually forgotten a lot of this theory, whether that means I've ingrained it or never found a use for it remains to be seen.

Don't foget about assonance, which only superficially sounds like rhyme but isn't... a lot of lyric poets draw the line at that one.


Lead on MacDuff.

[nobby]

Assonance is also referred to as vocalic alliteration if you don't like words that start with ass :grin:

[nobby]

Another tool, if we may look at the forest as well as the trees, is to start a song engaging the listener in a story, build upon the story, and resolve it in such a way that it sticks in the listener's mind. I think the last part may be referred to as "payoff" but it's been a while since I've read about songwriting.

[Carlo]

I am SO all over this thread...the pleasure and pain of lyrics is a mysterious way.:Razz:

[mousdrvr]

I am SO all over this thread...the pleasure and pain of lyrics is a mysterious way.:Razz:

Word!

I swear I'd have another 15 decent tunes in my arsenal if I could just learn to finish them. Seriously 15 second verses all just waiting for a thread like this.

-mous

[dwoz]

Installment One...

I think it's time
to speak of rhyme


What is "rhyme"? Or, better, what kind of TOOL is rhyme, for a lyricist?

The answer, is that it is a Pattern.

What makes lyrics memorable? patterns.
What makes lyrics flow? patterns.
What do listeners listen for? patterns.
What makes me think I know? c-c-c-c-courage.


ok, what just happened there?

A-B-A-B.

there were two main rhymes: memORable-fOR, and flOW-knOW.

The last rhyme, flow-know, is what is known as a "perfect" rhyme. The first one, is a little more interesting.

Rhymes happen in various places, but most often, they happen on the EMPHASIZED or STRESSED syllable, or probably better stated, they happen WITHIN THE SAME STRESS PATTERN!


Look at those two lines again:

What makes lyrics memor-able?
What do listeners listen for?

does that help show the rhyme? its in there! The bold font is the strong stress, the regular font is the weak stress. This is what is known as a "consonance" rhyme

A rhyme is a pattern. And the purpose of patterns is to set up expectations. The human mind is an insatiably curious and clever thing, and it loves to be teased and challenged by games and tricks. Setting up a pattern is like waving a chocolate bar under your brain's nose. It catches interest, it makes the mind work to guess what you're going to say next...if it guesses right, then it's proud of itself. If it guesses wrong, its intrigued and amused. That's why I did what I did in the final word above...'courage'. what word was your mind aready filling in?

So, a rhyme in a lyric really is composed of two specific PATTERN TOOLS...there's the language pattern tool...the 'ending the word with the same letters' aspect of a rhyme, and there's also the placement of the rhyme in the same place in the stress pattern..

The mind discerns both patterns simultaneously, and uses them both to help make it's 'guess'.


Now, there's many types of rhymes. Most everyone knows about the so-called 'perfect' rhyme:

It's time for me
to walk to town
to meet my fate,
to face them down.

But a rhyme doesn't have to be perfect, or be at the end of the line, to be a rhyme:

I've watched you,
Years of wonder, now you're grown
Now I look through
Tears of joy, how your gown
Flows like water
Tears my father's heart down

Let me try highlighting the rhymes:

I've watched you,
Years of wonder, now you're grown
Now I look through
Tears of joy, how your gown
Flows like water
Tears my father's heart down

an interesting one here is "tears"-"tears"...its what is known as a "sight" rhyme, where the word spells like a rhyme, but isn't one exactly...and its also an "identical" rhyme, which is the most perfect kind of rhyme you can have.

'Perfect' meaning, "most exactly fitting the rules for what is considered a rhyme"...NOT that it was the perfect word!

So, this little stanza sets up no less than SIX rhyme patterns.

grown - gown really isn't a perfect rhyme. the 'extra R' just manages to kick it over into an "oblique" rhyme.

the lines "now you're grown" - "how your gown" is an example of a rare bird...a "holo-rhyme", which is when the entire line matches up. Its like hitting three gold bars on the slots in Vegas. Free drinks!

There's another sort of interesting "hidden" pattern too. Grouping all the words together that DON'T rhyme, I get:

I've watched...of...Now I look...of joy...flows like...my heart.

The fact that these words don't rhyme, in the middle of such a MASH of rhyme, makes them stand out, almost like a pattern all by themselves. And interestingly enough, these words convey the core meaning of the stanza.

Just another interesting PATTERN that gave my mind a little squeeze.


Perfectly rhymed...perfectly trite country song....enjoy!

"The Golden Rule" by dwoz for Critique du Soleil.

Got up in the morning, and thought about you,
Makin' breakfast in an empty house, made me blue,
Started thinkin' 'bout how I acted such a fool,
Just decided that I'll follow that golden rule...


ohhhh......(*chorus)

Do unto others as you'd have done
Give as much pain as you've had some
She took away my manhood, took my pride
there's gotta be a way,to even the side

Its a tooth for a tooth, eye for an eye
here's a little something hope it makes you cry
Plenty other women want to have this fool
just cashing in on that Golden Rule




This RHYME SCHEME is "AABB". Meaning that the first two lines rhyme, then the second two rhyme.
(by the way, switching the "tooth-eye" saying backwards wasn't a mistake or done for the sake of rhyming...though that was pretty convenient...because the song is all about payback, the OPPOSITE of the golden rule. )



Let's mix it up and make the 2nd verse an "ABAB" form:

Got up in the morning, and thought about you,
every day of my life following all your rules,
just sitting in an empty house without the slightest clue,
Guess its time to find a use for these family jewels...


and so on. you can do ABBA too:

Saw you 'cross the bar with your brand new beau
it's good to see you picking up a brand new life
Though my time away from you has been free from strife
I'm feelin' kinda sad to see you sinking so low

...let's try AABA

My new girl gives me kisses by the dozen
and no-one can complain about her brand of lovin'
But somewhere deep inside, I'm still your fool
Is the Golden Rule applyin' if she's your younger cousin?

(final chorus, coda, out)


As you can hopefully see, the ABBA form is a little bit harder on you...you have to remember that first line across a lot of interceding material, before the 'closure' of the rhyme.

AABA can be fun, because it seems like a DECEPTIVE pattern. you set up an expectation to rhyme line 4 with the line previous, and create suprise and interest by instead rhyming farther back.

This is a wonderfully cheesy country tune. I used to HATE country. Really HATE it. but I've come to embrace it as a great exercise in working with lyrics...If it doesn't rhyme, it AIN'T COUNTRY! (and of course, if it isn't country, it isn't rhyming) :-)

Now, none of these are truly "tired" rhymes. There's NOTHING good about a tired rhyme.


The thought that comes to mind is, "if you're going to do a trite, tired rhyme, just don't bother unless there's a gun to your head and a deadline in front of you. The mind loves rhyme because it loves patterns. When that pattern is "too easily solved", it looses its "sparkle".

The very worst kind of rhyme in lyrics, is the Forced Rhyme. This means a rhyming word that just obviously is there on line 4 because of it's family relation to the word above it on line 3. It has little to no relevance to the story or anything, as something that someone might actually SAY, and very often its "shoe-horned" in, wrapped in some kind of freakish frankenstein sentence structure, ONLY JUST TO FIT A RHYME.

This, is bad. nothing screams "amateur" quite in the same way.

Also...rhyming on gerunds. Just say no.

Everybody was kung-foo fighting
those cats were fast as lightning
in fact it was a little bit frightening

I would type the last line, but bile was rising into my throat and I had to find a bowl or vase or something to...

anyway, that's enough for now..Perhaps as "homework" someone find a perfect example of a "forced rhyme"?

thank you for your valuable time,

hope this helps.

dwoz

[Aardvark]

..Perhaps as "homework" someone find a perfect example of a "forced rhyme"?


Tongue in cheek example would be Arlo Guthrie's Motorcycle song:

"And I don't wanna die,
just wanna ride on my motorcy...

...cle"

Funny, clever boy that one.


Cheers,
Jean-Luc PicardVark

[dwoz]

Tongue in cheek example would be Arlo Guthrie's Motorcycle song:

"And I don't wanna die,
just wanna ride on my motorcy...

...cle"

Funny, clever boy that one.


Cheers,
Jean-Luc PicardVark


...and this I would call a "meta-self-aware" rhyme...one that KNOWS its being shoehorned in, and yet feels no remorse or embarrasment. A rhyme that blows a raspberry at rhyming rules.

dwoz

[Fulcrum]

Waitaminnit, no one I know pronounces it mem-OR-able.

Yeah, it sounds remotely like "for" and alludes to that phoneme in what is ultimately a positive reinforcement, but I think you're stretching it here in calling it a rhyme. The word simply doesn't scan that way-- I don't care where in the Anglosphere you happen to be pronouncing it. If I actually sang it like that, with that stress and an accompanying melody, I'd be pilloried by anyone listening. Talk about shoe-horned.

As regards the gerund thing, which you illustrate with the excerpt from Kung Fu Fighting, those are imperfect rhymes on the first syllable of the word, each of which are strong syllables and occur in the same point in the phrase. The fact that they're gerunds is beside the point here, methinks.

[dwoz]

Waitaminnit, no one I know pronounces it mem-OR-able.

Yeah, it sounds remotely like "for" and alludes to that phoneme in what is ultimately a positive reinforcement, but I think you're stretching it here in calling it a rhyme. The word simply doesn't scan that way-- I don't care where in the Anglosphere you happen to be pronouncing it. If I actually sang it like that, with that stress and an accompanying melody, I'd be pilloried by anyone listening. Talk about shoe-horned.

As regards the gerund thing, which you illustrate with the excerpt from Kung Fu Fighting, those are imperfect rhymes on the first syllable of the word, each of which are strong syllables and occur in the same point in the phrase. The fact that they're gerunds is beside the point here, methinks.


Well...there's often a lot of "resistance" to the idea of imperfect rhymes. they're, well....not perfect. The important "take-away" is that a rhyme doesn't have to be completely straight-up to WORK. Often, you're faced with selecting a word that really works, MEANING-WISE, or a word that is sub-optimal but is a perfect rhyme. I submit that the typical "user's ear" is more forgiving of the imperfect rhyme than of the imperfect word.

And you're right, the "gerund-icity" of Kung-fu-fighting is not necessarily the 'crutch' example that i was searching for. But, you have to admit, YOU ARE DOOMED TO HEAR THAT SONG IN YOUR HEAD for the rest of the day. DOOMED, I SAY.

In that example, "fight", "light", and "fright" rhyme without regard to the gerund. (a gerund is the 'ing' word). But take a better example, such as 'working', 'loving', 'dreaming'.

oh....


dwoz

[Fulcrum]

Well...there's often a lot of "resistance" to the idea of imperfect rhymes. they're, well....not perfect. The important "take-away" is that a rhyme doesn't have to be completely straight-up to WORK. Often, you're faced with selecting a word that really works, MEANING-WISE, or a word that is sub-optimal but is a perfect rhyme. I submit that the typical "user's ear" is more forgiving of the imperfect rhyme than of the imperfect word.

True, but much hinges on the word pronounced with the familiar stress applied to each syllable. I am perhaps making too much of that one example.

But, you have to admit, YOU ARE DOOMED TO HEAR THAT SONG IN YOUR HEAD for the rest of the day. DOOMED, I SAY.

Neeehhhh, not bloody likely. I'm going to bed to sleep this off now, and hope I wake up for church in the morning. Now, if our choir director decides on Carl Douglas instead of the Handel she has scheduled for the offertory (or the Haydn she has us doing for the anthem), well.....

But take a better example, such as 'working', 'loving', 'dreaming'.

Exactly.

[BIGDOG]

You guys are all so dang serious. Can't you just have a little fun???

[nobby]

anyway, that's enough for now..Perhaps as "homework" someone find a perfect example of a "forced rhyme"?



She took away my manhood, took my pride
there's gotta be a way,to even the side


Shouldn't that be "even the sides"?

Hey, you asked. :Wink:

[dwoz]

Shouldn't that be "even the sides"?

Hey, you asked. :Wink:


Just use an AKG C1000 or C3000 to record the vocals. Then it will have the 'ess' on it whether you pronounce it or not.

dwoz

[nobby]

Just use an AKG C1000 or C3000 to record the vocals. Then it will have the 'ess' on it whether you pronounce it or not.

dwoz

LMFBO

Good point!

[nobby]

anyway, the point I'm making is that one has to weigh the meaning of the lyrics, weigh in the imperfect rhymes, the assonance and alliteration, and whether it's a verse or a chorus before determining whether a perfect rhyme is necessary, or even desirable.

As an example, I'll use a song from one of my all time favorite songwriters. (http://womb.mixerman.net/showthread.php?t=1061)

I don't wanna live a life of quiet desperation
And I don't want to die the death of a salesman
Got to find some other arrangement
I can live without the aggravation
of a catch twenty-two situation.

It's a verse. As such, it's not as important for the listener to memorize it. No perfect rhymes except for "aggravation" and "situation".

The meaning trumps the perfect rhyme. The "everyman" listener gets that the writer knows the feeling of being the underdog, a feeling he knows all to well. An important connection is established.

I don't wanna live a life of quiet desperation
And Idon't want to die the death

The average tow truck driver might not get it, but there are also references within the verse:

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.

~Henry David Thoreau

<GASP> was that an imperfect rhyme?!
Death of a Salesman --
One of the most famous plays of the 20th century (made into 2 moves, the latter starring Dustin Hoffman)

Catch-22 --
One of the most famous books of the 20th century, made into a blockbuster move, and turned into one of the most quote phrases ever.

For the chorus, the author :grin: uses perfect rhymes. Well, 3 out of four aint bad!

You know that life can be so fine
Pretty soon, it will be our time
Find a way out of the shale mine
Into the warmth of the sunshine

[dwoz]

As an example, I'll use a song from one of my all time favorite songwriters.

I don't wanna live a life of quiet desperation
And I don't want to die the death of a salesman
Got to find some other arrangement
I can live without the aggravation
of a catch twenty-two situation.

It's a verse. As such, it's not as important for the listener to memorize it. No perfect rhymes except for "aggravation" and "situation".



The rhyme scheme here is A-B-B-A-A.

That's right. ABBAA. No question whatsoever.

"salesman" and "arrangement" are actually "somewhat close rhymes". They're PERCEIVED as rhyme. Definitely not strong, but DEFINITELY rhyme. And, the first line certainly rhymes with the fourth and fifth! Enunciation would of course also help the listener identify the imperfect rhyme.

The rhyme scheme of ABBAA is interesting. Here is a five-line stanza verse, which is a bit of a long distance. My thought here is that the initial "A" rhyme, bridging the interceding "BB" couplet, and finally paying back with the last "AA" couplet, does two things. First, it holds the whole thing together as a unit. If it was AABBC, or something similar to that, then with more than four lines, you'd perceive it as being not one long thought, but more as several joined couplets. It might even play out as two verses jammed together, or as a verse with a transition line into the chorus! The rhyme scheme helps to hold it together as a unit.

Also, the rhyme scheme ABBAA does one other thing...it PROVIDES ACCELERATION into whatever comes next! If the rhyme scheme was AABBA, I'd suggest (depending on LOTS of other factors) that the rhyme scheme would be helping to HOLD THINGS BACK, and PREVENT acceleration.

Rhymes set up TENSION/RELEASE, or perhaps EXPECTATION/CLOSURE events. That's their purpose as a tool in your lyrics.

I have an exercise that I do when looking for rhymes. This harkens back to the point that nobby and fulcrum were making earlier, that the LYRIC STORY is the key to the whole thing. This is true. One valid exercise (out of many) is to do what I do...write down a paragraph of prose, that conveys the thought you're trying to put across. (prose being simple, straight text). Often this little mini-paragraph of text includes some kind of "key phrase" or "hook" or "interesting turn of words" that you like, that FEELS like the basis of a lyric. You take this short paragraph, and just read it naturally, and identify the "strong" words...the ones that are important. You re-write the paragraph to put those words into STRONG STRESS positions within the form, perhaps making these words the end of lines. Next, you identify the line that will most likely rhyme, and see if there's a logical natural choice to replace the word you've got in there. Often there is.

So...START with strong story... FIND the words of strength...ARRANGE the prose into a verse form, with those strong words in key spots...and REPLACE words around them to accomplish a rhyme.

Obviously, there are MANY MORE THINGS going on here, but for this moment, this post, I'm just concentrating on the rhyme aspect.

hope that helped.

dwoz

[nobby]

The rhyme scheme of ABBAA is interesting. Here is a five-line stanza verse, which is a bit of a long distance. My thought here is that the initial "A" rhyme, bridging the interceding "BB" couplet, and finally paying back with the last "AA" couplet, does two things. First, it holds the whole thing together as a unit. If it was AABBC, or something similar to that, then with more than four lines, you'd perceive it as being not one long thought, but more as several joined couplets. It might even play out as two verses jammed together, or as a verse with a transition line into the chorus! The rhyme scheme helps to hold it together as a unit.

Also, the rhyme scheme ABBAA does one other thing...it PROVIDES ACCELERATION into whatever comes next! If the rhyme scheme was AABBA, I'd suggest (depending on LOTS of other factors) that the rhyme scheme would be helping to HOLD THINGS BACK, and PREVENT acceleration.

It's setting up the pre-chorus. [edit] It's part of the pre-chorus. But rather than dance about architecture, here are the other factors. (I'm not changing the lyrics regardless, just so you know)

Warmth of the Sunshine 012007 (http://www.theconveyors.com/audio/ACHILLES-Warmth012007.m3u)


I have an exercise that I do when looking for rhymes. This harkens back to the point that nobby and fulcrum were making earlier, that the LYRIC STORY is the key to the whole thing. This is true. One valid exercise (out of many) is to do what I do...write down a paragraph of prose, that conveys the thought you're trying to put across. (prose being simple, straight text). Often this little mini-paragraph of text includes some kind of "key phrase" or "hook" or "interesting turn of words" that you like, that FEELS like the basis of a lyric. You take this short paragraph, and just read it naturally, and identify the "strong" words...the ones that are important. You re-write the paragraph to put those words into STRONG STRESS positions within the form, perhaps making these words the end of lines. Next, you identify the line that will most likely rhyme, and see if there's a logical natural choice to replace the word you've got in there. Often there is.

So...START with strong story... FIND the words of strength...ARRANGE the prose into a verse form, with those strong words in key spots...and REPLACE words around them to accomplish a rhyme.

That's a good description of what I do, though I don't think about it consciously.

[dwoz]

Want to check out a really clever use of rhyme? Shortly, jennbeast's tune will be up on the RotationStation. Here's her chorus:

JennBeast - Wish

and I would

Be...
The...
En-...
vy...

Of everyone I knew
but it would be an empty
kingdom without you


Its an ABAB chorus, that because of the rhythmic pattern applied, becomes two sections, ABBA/CAC. Now, that's a very sophisticated and effective use of a rhyme pattern to put a choke-hold on the momentum of the tune, and make it do EXACTLY what she wants.

Very nice!

dwoz

[badboymusic]

So, over the next few weeks....

Weeks?

Please Sir may I have some more?

[pootkao]

Lyrics are a great topic, one that has been a longstanding challenge for me as a songwriter who's always tried to do things a little differently.

I must admit that I find the majority of modern rock and pop lyrics are utterly insulting in their simplicity, overuse of well-worn cliches and formula-toting-ness. (Yes, thats a technical term...heh heh)

I've long held "The Abstractionists" in very high esteem -- Michael Stipe, Tori Amos, Gord Downie & Thom York in particular. They have somehow managed to weave a poetic tapestry using imagery, phonetics and emotive 'touchpoint words' that have raised the Lyric to equal standing with the art that supports it.

Lyrics are the part of songwriting I struggle the most with. The thought of putting something out there which says something I can't firmly stand behind -- or worse, doesn't say anything at all! -- is so utterly terrifying. To the poster above who said if they just need a bunch of 2nd verses and would then have a bunch of new songs ... very very true. I'm battling the same thing right now.

If anyone cares (I know, I'm new around here), here's some rough rough solo recordings of a few things I'm working on for my new band. Many of you folks play by different rules than I, so your feedback -- both positive and negative, is most welcome.
www.myspace.com/lesjupes

[dwoz]

Join

by dwoz (David Wozmak) (c)2007

verse

If you stayed another night
would it really make a difference
we both know its a lie
but would that get in the way?

You know I have to try
to break through the indifference
to strike dry tinder spark
to make truth out of inference

chorus
So, here we are
at the flashpoint
We stand apart
in the crucible of dreams
Awaiting the chance
to dance
and claim the space between

where you and I would join
and never be the same again

verse
So the game is over, so you say
but you're still playing, anyway
I will follow to a certain point
before the trail becomes too cold

The story's old, and it unfolds
like so many stories yet untold
and still I know that this one's different
Please just tell me this one's different

chorus
So, here we are
at the flashpoint
we stand apart
in the crucible of dreams
Awaiting the chance to dance
and claim the space between

Where you and I would join
and never be the same again

verse
Did you think I was the type
to wait alone, to stand apart
to make some offhand vow
to take a hollow promise?

It's not that I
want to see you compromised
or cut back down to size
but you must realize

chorus
That here we are
At the flashpoint
we stand apart
in the crucible of dreams
awaiting the chance to dance
and claim the space between

Where you and I would join
and never be the same again..

[dwoz]

So, I was experimenting with something in JOIN...


The idea of the ACCELERATED RHYME.


that song rhymed more than any song I've written in the last year.


The story's old, and it unfolds
like so many stories yet untold.


I am VERY fond of that line. it features an ACCELERATED RHYME.

sometimes that's called an INTERNAL rhyme. old-unfolds.

When we're writing verse stanzas, we set up a PATTERN of emphasis, that has a payoff at the end of it, a rhyme. This couplet packs a punch, because it breaks that pattern, and gives you the rhyme closure early, then repeats it.

"Awaiting the chance (to dance)"

another accelerated rhyme. It increases the 'pace' of the vocal, gives a sense of building.

very cool, very effective tool in the kit.

dwoz

[dwoz]

Effective lyrics.


what makes a lyric effective? I want a debate here. I think its when we manage to abstract and capture a core emotion, and then place it INSIDE THE LISTENER'S CONTEXT.


I'm a big fan of the word CONTEXT when thinking about music, and it's affect on people.

ABSTRACT...


...SIMPLIFY....

....FIND THE CORE....


....RE-STATE.


that's the pattern that makes people FEEL it for you.


dwoz

[dwoz]

Lyrics convey EMOTION.


Emotion is ephemeral.


It's allegorical. You have to try to take your own PAIN and make it resonate for others.

THat's extremely difficult. You end up sounding trite, or condescending, or sappy.

or cliche.

GOD, please deliver me from cliche.

I have been (rightly) accused of being too erudite, too wordy, too intellectual, in my lyrics.

I used the word "denouement" fer krissakes. (team hinterland..."When you couldn't believe")

WHO uses the word "denouement"????


but that was a pretty good couplet:

"The feeding frenzy, the voyeur's amusement
Vicarious libel and false denouement"



Something that I feel is underused and VERY POWERFUL, is the "anti-rhyme".

Alliteration! (Feeding Frenzy)

it gives that same sense of acceleration that you get with a rhyme.

Alliteration is a GOOD TOOL for our kit.

In the above lyric couplet, the words "Voyeur" and "Vicarious" also form an alliteration pair. It creates even More acceleration.

dwoz

[dwoz]

Syllabic Emphasis


The rhyme scheme is certainly important to make a bit of prose "seem" like a lyric.

But there's something that's far more important. It's the STRESS PATTERN in the words themselves.

All spoken language has stress patterns. Any pairing of two syllables has one of them being STRONGER, and one of them being WEAKER.

When you string a few words together into a line, you now have created a RHYTHM, of the words themselves. The pattern of strong/weak.

Probably better spoken as "emphasized/de-emphasized".

Let's look back at Join, for a moment:

(If you )stayed another night
(would it) really make a difference
(we )both know it's a lie
(but would) that get in the way;

(you) Know I have to try
(to) break through the indifference
(to) strike dry tinder spark
(to) make truth out of inference

If you look at this in relation to the music, you see that all the strong syllabic marks fall on the beat, and the weak syllabic marks fall off the beat.

Also, the strong/weak pattern is repeated throughout the verse, on all the lines. This creates a sense of cohesion, a sense that it hangs together as a unit.

Note, also, that all the lines have a pickup, the lines are started on the upbeat, coming in to "one". Considering the rather "weak" rhyme scheme in this stanza, it helps to "box" the stanza, and close the pattern.

Rhyme-wise...'night', 'lie', and 'way' are what could be considered imperfect rhymes. But the continuance of the rhyme pattern into the second stanza ('try'), and the continuance of the rhyme scheme around the 'ifference' words, also help to 'box' the pattern as being closed by the end of the 2nd stanza.

Making sure that "strong" syllables end up in emphasis points in the music, is a fairly important part of writing verses that hold together. putting 'weak' syllables on strong beats, or even mis-stressing words, can be used, but it's the rare instance where that really helps you.


dwoz

[Fulcrum]

what makes a lyric effective? I want a debate here. I think its when we manage to abstract and capture a core emotion, and then place it INSIDE THE LISTENER'S CONTEXT.

Saying something old in a new way. Finding a new metaphor that personalizes it-- yes, of course, for the listener; but first of all for the lyricist. It needs to be of prime importance to the writer first, in order that when communicated properly it resonates with the listener to some degree.

Of course the lyricist is working within the constraint that someone will hopefully eventually sing his/her lyric, and may need to adjust for that fact by not using certain words, like, well, denouement-- unless there is absolutely no other word that describes the situation.

[dikledoux]

...putting 'weak' syllables on strong beats, or even mis-stressing words, can be used, but it's the rare instance where that really helps you.
Straight from the Alanis Morrisette playbook. Just when I'm about to cozy up to a lyric of hers, there's that misplaced emPHAsis on a sylLABle that makes me cringe. I often miss the next few words she sings while I recover.

dik

[dwoz]

Straight from the Alanis Morrisette playbook. Just when I'm about to cozy up to a lyric of hers, there's that misplaced emPHAsis on a sylLABle that makes me cringe. I often miss the next few words she sings while I recover.

dik

Bingo.


There's at least two songs on Jagged Little Pill that do that. I'll see if I can remember which...


dwoz

[Fulcrum]

I always took that as a sign of immaturity or ineptitude. At best we can say she was too fucking lazy to look for a better phrase construction.

[dwoz]

I always took that as a sign of immaturity or ineptitude. At best we can say she was too fucking lazy to look for a better phrase construction.

well...one way to phrase that, non-judgmentally...is that doing it definitely draws attention to the word. Scrutiny, even.

dwoz

[Fulcrum]

Yeah, to say the least.

I would argue (along with Dik-- see above) that doing that causes an unnecessary distraction.

One of the joys of listening to Sinatra was that his phrasing was at times conversational; he would no more misplace the stress of a word while singing than he would while talking. Me, I think that's a fairly decent yardstick to go by-- otherwise, we could (and Anacin Morrisette apparently has) just throw the dictionary out the window, make up your own rules, and to hell with what everybody else thinks about your pronunciation or ability to convey a message.

It's noble that you offer a non-judgmental way of looking at it, but don't we as lyricists have to be judgmental? Other than having a feel for what doesn't work, and drawing those lines in the sand, how do we arrive at what does work?

[cozmicslop]

It's noble that you offer a non-judgmental way of looking at it, but don't we as lyricists have to be judgmental? Other than having a feel for what doesn't work, and drawing those lines in the sand, how do we arrive at what does work?

We can get into a lot of trouble trying to over think some of the things we write. How many great rock songs do the lyrics mean next to nothing or are sung in a way that's almost indecipherable?

I'm with Dwoz in that context is everything.

What the fuck is Yes singing about? I have no idea yet love their music.

For Once in My Life...Sinatra. Stevie. Great performances, but is the lyric really that complicated?

I find it much easier to write for others than myself. I'm the guy that they come to when they can't get past the first verse. Is it because they're more/less demanding than I am? Is it because they only want something to sing and really don't have anything to say? I'm still trying to figure that one out. I also try to follow the Motown formula when writing for/with others. Tell a story. Keep it simple.Try to keep it in the now.


With my own songs it's different. Sometimes I'm more concerned with communicating my feelings than my thoughts. If garbling syntax and fucking up grammar works, I'm all down with it. Eventually, I know the lyrics have to make sense, but i don't hamstring myself by starting out that way.I start as far as I can outside and work my way to the middle. Like reducing a sauce.

I know that I'm gonna write some complete shit from time to time, but a lot of shit songs have a great line in them that I wouldn't have stumbled on if I had just quit or thrown them away because the hooks were lousy.

[dwoz]

I think that there's a little bit of truth in all the comments.

Just in the same way that Functional Harmony, a system of organizing and analyzing music, was arrived at more-or-less empirically, so are the "rules" of lyric writing.

Most all of the "rules" have come from the analysis and sifting and parsing of lyrics, prose, and poetry that we recognized as having an effect. We "discovered" some patterns, codified them, and in re-applying them, find that we are able to invoke those same effects, at will.

The patterns that are simple, strong, and most importantly, effective, become "rules".

Rhyme, for instance. It's a "rule" that songs are supposed to rhyme.

Rhyme creates strong expectation/release moments in lyrics...but so do other things. My CAPE III song "Gone" (team artisan) has but ONE perfect rhyme, throughout the whole three verses and chorus and bridge. It happens to occur smack bang on the high emotional point of the song. (...no accident). The "cohesion" of the verses is arrived at instead, through meticulous matching of emphasis patterns.

If you write "free verse", and in some spots find a verse or couplet or section that really seems to have some excitement to it, upon analysis it is highly likely that you'll "find" that you've employed some one or other of the "rules" there.

Mis-use of language is itself another pattern...or perhaps anti-pattern. It tears a rip in the fabric of the listener's context, and they go into an alert state...they're moved into a realm of uncertainty, and the natural animal response is to "get alert", until the uncertainty is resolved.

Now, the magic happens when all this stuff is happening because the writer was CONSCIOUS. Ultimately, the unconscious writer will squander whatever random, accidental opportunity was present, and fail to bring the listener into a special state.

The genius of writing is when these accidents happen, and the writer SEES the opportunity, and uses it to his/her own advantage.

dwoz

[cozmicslop]

I completely understand.

It's one thing to do something instinctively and quite another to recognize the technical aspects of it and therefore control it.

With rhyme for example. Many times I've deliberately avoided a rhyme when it just sounded corny and I didn't want to force one. This jarring of the listener was conscious and deliberate but the result not a forethought. It will be from now on.

As with alliteration, it was something that I did sometimes just because something sounded cool to say, I discovered by accident how it can push the beat or create counterpoint and make things more interesting rhythmically.

Knowing why you do a thing is a lot more powerful than just doing things by instinct and hoping it works. It also helps to know when or why not to do it.

Great post Dwoz.

[MudCat]

As a lyricist, I'm a minimalist. I don't try and paint an entire picture with a wordy lyric, however well crafted it may be. Powerful music itself can turn a 5-word line into a complete story in the listener's mind, based on their own experiences and imagination. Imagination is far more powerful, to me, than 1000 words can achieve, in terms of song. I lean to the power of music w/ minimal lyric when possible.



But that is my style.......some of you (Dwoz, Grape, Fulcrum come to mind) have done some excellent lyrics, imo.


-mudcat

[G. Hoffman]

Just a quick drop in here. I haven't done much writing in a LONG time (though I find myself experimenting with a David Bowie technique for coming up with ideas lately), but back when I did write a lot, I was in the Songwriting program out at Berklee. We had three text books out there which are a HUGE help in building your tool kit. All of them by the guy who started the lyric writing program out there, Pat Pattison, who knows more about the English language than any 25 people I've ever met. Taking classes from Pat was a real Privilege, enough so that I never missed a class, and I never left one of his classes without my entire perspective on the language being turned upside down and sideways. He was one of the three truly great teachers I've had in my life.

At any rate, the books are:

Writing Better Lyrics (http://www.amazon.com/Writing-Better-Lyrics-Pat-Pattison/dp/1582970645/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1204168810&sr=8-1) (and yes, I know how ironic it is for a book on writing better metaphors and such to have such a boring tittle - Pat Swears it was the publishers choice).

The other two I have, Managing Lyric Structure and Rhyming Techniques and Strategies appear to have been replaced with a couple of new ones:

Songwriting: Essential Guide to Rhyming: A Step-by-Step Guide to Better Rhyming and Lyrics (http://www.amazon.com/Songwriting-Essential-Rhyming-Step-Step/dp/079351181X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1204168914&sr=1-2)

Songwriting: Essential Guide to Lyric Form and Structure: Tools and Techniques for Writing Better Lyrics (http://www.amazon.com/Songwriting-Essential-Structure-Techniques-Writing/dp/0793511801/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1204168914&sr=1-3)




Not meaning to shill for Pat too much, but if you really want to get better, his shit will help.

Oh, and buy a REAL rhyming dictionary and a REAL Roget's Thesaurus, and then learn how to use them. Neither of them should be in dictionary form, because dictionary form rhyming dictionaries and thesauruses are a total and complete waste of time and money. Their design pretty much guaranties that you will never use anything but the most clichéd and obvious POS rhymes on the planet.

Yeah I know, strong opinions from a guy who hasn't written more than about three songs in the last decade. I had a great teacher. Take his word for it. (Oh, he taught Gillian Welch, if that means anything to you - and it should - though he swears that she didn't need him).

Well, I meant it to be a quick post. :Redface: :Redface:


Gabriel

[dwoz]

Sorry, long time no post. Gabe, I knew Pat Pattison as well, and you're absolutely right, his books are excellent "cookbooks" for setting up your thinking about lyrics and their structure.

However, one caveat. I think it's important to let ideas come, without paying too much attention to rules and structure, and THEN apply your rules and structure as you revisit the lyric, on subsequent editing passes.

...and Mudcat, I fully agree with you. It all comes back around to CONTEXT I think...I tend to feel the need to "build some kind of context" in my lyrics, and then set the "story" of the lyrics into it. But there's no particular reason to do that. Just as valid, is to do NO context work, just overlay your statement onto the listener's own context. When you do that, meaning changes from listener to listener, and I'm quite convinced that that's a GOOD thing.

dwoz

[dwoz]

THE HARDEST THING

What's universally the hardest thing to do in lyric writing?


...ask 500 people, and about 487 of them will say one exact thing.


...getting started.


the other 13 people will say "marrying lyrics with a melody". Those 13 people are gonna have to wait for the next installment.


So...having said that, where to begin? I guess, upon introspection, (because it all is about me, after all), that a good lyric has to start with a good EMOTION. By "good" I don't really mean "good", I mean 'powerful'.

So, I'm going to write a lyric. I begin, this time, with a little hook or phrase or thought: "My wife, in the course of a day, feels compelled to quite regularly say 'I love you'. In a way, it is almost more like just a 'checking in' gesture...it's a call, and the only proper response, of course, is to reply "I love you too". If I DON'T respond appropriately (and timely!), then I'm in trouble."

Ok, so that's my song.

Not much of a song, really. but I think there's possibly something in there. I have to move it around a bit and poke it and stuff, until I find the CONTEXT that causes me to feel that little "crinkle" inside my gut, that little wrench of emotion.

So I think about it...mull it...and the thought crosses my mind, that sometimes it's a bit tiresome to have to always respond. After all, I love her, I know she knows that, and I know that she loves me, after all, there's a thousand little things she does during the course of the day that say "I love you" without her having to constantly interrupt me.....

wait a minute....there's something. "you say "I love you" a thousand times a day"...no...Sting trademark infringement..."you say 'I love you' a hundred times a day...no...'every minute, of the day'...in the things you do for me".

Let's pull that one around a little...."in the things you do for me, in the way you look at me, in the way you call my name, in the way you hold my hand"...

etc. etc. etc. So, that's cool. but it hasn't caused that CRINKLE yet.

Ok, more free thought....so this started in an 'autobiographical' way...the initial thought of the tune came from my personal experience. But let's move on from there.

Let's say, "she's now gone". I'm alone. Then in that context, I replay the tape of the original thought..."I get annoyed by the constant thing of having to reply every time you say 'I love you.'." Oh, now...SHE'S NOT HERE ANYMORE TO SAY IT. (in this new context)...that annoyance was in the PAST...and in this PRESENT (the hypothetical one where she's gone), that thought has some poignancy.

in fact....BIG CRINKLE.

wow.

Ok, NOW I have a lyric.


Only have to tart it up a little and we're off to the mailbox to see if the royalty check has arrived!

Here's my plan:

first verse: get in, set up the "complaint about her"...

chorus: explain to her that she says "I love you" constantly, she doesn't have to SAY it...

second verse: replay the first verse, maybe a bit of storytelling...

Chorus: again...same basic chorus, maybe a bit of embellishing, playing on the theme...

Bridge: do a "be careful what you wish for" kind of thing, foreshadowing...

Last Verse: do the PAYOFF...reveal that that was in the past, and now we're in the NOW, and how I'd give anything to HEAR her say "I love you" again...

Chorus repeat out...

So, I'll post my treatment of this shortly. Anyone else care to jot down a treatment?

The takeaway point? I had an idea, but I couldn't turn it into a lyric until I found a POWERFUL EMOTION to drape that idea around. I went searching around for a context that would show me that powerful emotion, and luckily, found one.

The lyric will work, because the emotion, and the context, are both "common themes" that will be EASY for listeners to "step in to".

dwoz

[dwoz]

One way to think of this technique above, is "putting yourself at risk".

One thing I think you HAVE to do to write compelling lyrics, is to place yourself directly into "emotional harm's way"...take yourself into the places that represent "danger".

...and I don't just mean HARD or NEGATIVE emotional spaces...just like I "threw myself" into the space of emotional loss in my post above, I could throw myself into the space of "reckless exuberant abandon" in exploring the emotions around a GOOD thing, like a fiercely passionate sexual fling, or some other "emotional high point".

dwoz

[dwoz]

just a quick plug...there's a WEALTH of interesting stuff up in the Womb Radios, up there at the top of the page. Hours of entertainment and education. Not for the weak.

dwoz

[FrogMan]

Hi. I've just read the whole thread, and I remembered this song, really perfect lyrics. It's all there: acceleration, right use of emphasis, good ryhming, you name it, and it conveys a really powerful idea that I believe most of us share at some point in life. Here it goes:

Beat on the brat
Beat on the brat
Beat on the brat with a baseball bat
Oh yeah, oh yeah, uh- oh

(ch)
What can you do?
What can you do?
With a brat like that always on your back
What can you do?

Really, you might not like it, but it's technical perfection just can't be denied. Try to think of one way of doing it better. Try to change a word. Even worse, try to add a verse. Nothing will work: this is just perfect as it is.

Also, about emphasis, I was thinking about the Kaiser Chiefs' 'Oh my god' song, on their own version and also Lilly Allen's in the Mark Ronson album. In the original, they have this line (emphasis in bold):

The only thing growing is our history

In Lilly Allen's this is emphasized in a different way, and a little pause is introduced to allow this change:

The only thing growing
is our history

Lilly's interpretation is way better, it just brilliantly solves the problem. I hated that line in Kaiser Chiefs' version, and love it now.

Cheers.

Cheers.

[dwoz]

I'm not familiar with the Kaiser Chiefs...but this is a very common issue.

Natural breathing...


Natural cadence...


Natural semantic constructs...


Natural emphasis...


...all critical aspects of good phrasing. The lyricist has to consider the poor sot that will be singing the stupid thing. Don't make him/her chew words, don't make them breathe or make them NOT breathe.

Although...sometimes you can get away with cleverness.

In the example, the word "history". HIS-tory...his-STORY...history is his story.

This "idiosyncratic" emphasis is also sometimes employed to illuminate an internal rhyme...

So, there are no rules, just techniques.

dwoz

[fyl2u]

And you're right, the "gerund-icity" of Kung-fu-fighting is not necessarily the 'crutch' example that i was searching for. But, you have to admit, YOU ARE DOOMED TO HEAR THAT SONG IN YOUR HEAD for the rest of the day. DOOMED, I SAY.

In that example, "fight", "light", and "fright" rhyme without regard to the gerund. (a gerund is the 'ing' word). But take a better example, such as 'working', 'loving', 'dreaming'.

oh....


dwoz

He's criticising that lyrical genius, Huey Lewis, now!
[Life Of Brian]"He's havin' a go at the flowers, now!" [/Life Of Brian]

"Takin' what they're givin' 'cos I'm workin' for a livin'"

I swear that guy has shares in the apostrophe market.

[fyl2u]

The rhyme scheme here is A-B-B-A-A.

That's right. ABBAA. No question whatsoever.

"salesman" and "arrangement" are actually "somewhat close rhymes". They're PERCEIVED as rhyme. Definitely not strong, but DEFINITELY rhyme. And, the first line certainly rhymes with the fourth and fifth! Enunciation would of course also help the listener identify the imperfect rhyme.

hope that helped.

dwoz

But how would you fit it in?

I don't wanna live a life of quiet desperation
Or forget to use enunciation
And I don't want to die the death of a salesman
Got to find some other arrangement
I can live without the aggravation
of a catch twenty-two situation.

Something like that?

[dwoz]

But how would you fit it in?

I don't wanna live a life of quiet desperation
Or forget to use enunciation
And I don't want to die the death of a salesman
Got to find some other arrangement
I can live without the aggravation
of a catch twenty-two situation.

Something like that?


I don't wanna live a life pedantic enunciation
And I don't want to die the death of a salesman
Got to give dwoz some gratuitous appeasement
I can live without the aggravation
of a catch twenty-two situation.


like that?

[fyl2u]

I don't wanna live a life pedantic enunciation
And I don't want to die the death of a salesman
Got to give dwoz some gratuitous appeasement
I can live without the aggravation
of a catch twenty-two situation.


like that?

:grin:

[fyl2u]

Join

by dwoz (David Wozmak) (c)2007


What's the vibe with posting our own lyrics on here for dismantling / critique in terms of copyright?

If a song I've written isn't yet copyrighted, does the post on its own count as "proof" that I wrote it first if someone reading plagiarises some of it later?

Of course... that'd be working under the assumption that none of the moderators on this site would plagiarise it and delete my post / account. :lol:

[dwoz]

What's the vibe with posting our own lyrics on here for dismantling / critique in terms of copyright?

If a song I've written isn't yet copyrighted, does the post on its own count as "proof" that I wrote it first if someone reading plagiarises some of it later?

Of course... that'd be working under the assumption that none of the moderators on this site would plagiarise it and delete my post / account. :lol:


There's no copyright issue whatsoever. Please include a "copyright bug" as I did, just because that's the canonical form for notifying others that the piece is copyrighted. I'll be happy to help analyze.

[fyl2u]

There's no copyright issue whatsoever. Please include a "copyright bug" as I did, just because that's the canonical form for notifying others that the piece is copyrighted. I'll be happy to help analyze.

So, the "copyright bug" on its own is enough to copyright the lyrics, even if I haven't formally copyrighted them anywhere before posting them here?

If I were to make something up on the spot such as...

"These lyrics that I'm writing are made up on the spot,
To discuss whether they would actually be copyrighted or not"

(c)2010 Phil Plumpton

Then that's it, those "lyrics" are copyrighted to me? I don't need to send a copy of them to a music industry lawyer or fill in a "copyright your songs from your own home for only £50" pack or anything?

[fyl2u]

^^ anyone?

[dwoz]

Actually, your lyrics are copyrighted (at least in the USA) the instant you first fix them in a tangible form. (i.e. write them on the back of a dinner napkin).

Putting the copyright notification on it when you toss it around and about serves the purpose of alerting any potential exploiters who they need to contact for permission.

[fyl2u]

Actually, your lyrics are copyrighted (at least in the USA) the instant you first fix them in a tangible form. (i.e. write them on the back of a dinner napkin).

Putting the copyright notification on it when you toss it around and about serves the purpose of alerting any potential exploiters who they need to contact for permission.

That's good enough for me. :-D

Right, ok then, here goes....

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Shackles (c)2010 Phil Plumpton

I dress like a burglar in my own home,
You know the beanie keeps the hair where it needs no foam,
I've got a tendency to fall asleep in my clothes,
I been known to skip my baths so folk'll leave me alone.

Economics was never my strongest hand,
I'd bet the farm that I'd go broke if I was a gamblin' man,
Can't stand to think of all the money I'd save,
If I wasn't smokin' myself to an early grave.

I'd sort the stink in the sink, but I think it's contaminated,
I probably vote if I wasn't so jaded,
Desist with the lecturin' but I'm too opinionated...

I've got a heart of gold,
But I've gone and sold it for a
Stack of old guitars,
It's rock and roll,
Profound and cynical,
Secretly humanacled,
Some kind of animal,
Bleeding from the shackles you put on my mind.

I'm no smokin' pistol but I've been a round,
If my red paint hadn't run dry I might just hit the town,
The water's still rough but I ain't gonna drown,
'Cos I been hardened to the weather since my ship ran aground.

Dedicated to the apes who've learned to use their minds
Yeah, I'm just a monkey with an axe to grind,
I may be cynical but I still find,
That seein' is believin' in the land of the blind.

Ah, heart of gold,
But I've gone and sold it for a
Stack of old guitars,
It's rock and roll,
Profound and cynical,
Secretly humanacled,
Some kind of animal,
Bleeding from the shackles you put on my mind.

Won't you put on my mind?

-----------------------------------------------------------
(c)2010 Phil Plumpton


There you go, lads, tear me apart.