Post January songs and feedback here

[McAllister]

Here. Right here.
Or rather, just down there a little bit.

Right on.

M

[mingus]

Hi.

I didn't have time to complete the December challenge, but I have finished the one for this month. Please forgive the less than professional singing, production and musicianship. I did everything myself (with the help of a drum machine -- you really do not want to hear me drum!). The title is based on several cliches: simply the best, live simply, etc.

I'll be out of town until Feb 1st, so I won't be able to respond to any comments. I hope you guys like it. Thanks for checking it out.

mingus

[McAllister]

Mingus -
Congratulations on being the first to post the January song. Cool track. The chorus is particularly effective, esp. with the harmony vocal.

I'm not sure if "Simply a Lie" fits the wordplay criteria - but we'll call it a gray area 'cause I think I know what you were goin' for.

Right on, and I hope you are able to play in the months ahead, too.

Alright, who's next?

M

[mingus]

Thanks Mc. I appreciate any constructive criticism I can get. I'm glad you were able to give it a listen before I catch a plane tomorrow morning.

[Webs]

Ok, I'll go next.

I only had this last week and I went all over the map working on this one, and here's what ended up. Fun challenges as always, Mc.

Webs.

[McAllister]

Wow, Webs. What a knock-out of a song.

You win a whole bunch of Super-Whizzo Bonus Points for 1) nailing the quiet/loud criteria (and how unusual is it to hear a new song that's not just squashed to death?). Fucking great. You had me reaching for the volume knob continually. 2) The lyric challenge. Perfect. "To see or not to see; that is the question." Not only does it fit the criteria but it works as a very good song lyric, too.

Finally, you not only got the parts right, you put them together in a cool track, too; you made the criteria work as a song.

Shit. Now I've gotta rethink my work in progress. Asshole.

Best,
M

[Grapestomper]

Wow, Webs. What a knock-out of a song.

Shit. Now I've gotta rethink my work in progress.

Yeah, that's two of us.

I doubt there's any way I'll wind up with as much dynamic swing as that!


Very nice work, Webs. As McA mentioned, it's catchy just as a song, quite asside from the fact that you met the challenge requirements so well. Well done indeed.

I'm still hoping that I'll have anything at all finished by Wed night.

Mike


Asshole.

I heard that "Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole"... No such luck for Van Gogh, I guess.
:lol:

[Webs]

Van Gogh never got a break, even as self-defacing as he reportedly was.

Thanks gents, I'm much looking forward to hearing your solutions for this month. No doubt they'll be fantastic.

P.s> Only two more Super-Whizzo points until I win a trip to Disneyland and a free accosting by an actor in a Tigger(tm) costume!

[LouMan]

Okay, my turn I guess.

Enjoy,
Lou

[McAllister]

OK, first things first, the title is killer. Fucking killer. Gonna make mine look pale and stupid by comparison. Shit. O yeah, and mine will be a couple of days late, I think, too. My studio problems are almost at an end, thank god, so this shouldn't happen again.

The other great thing about the song is the dynamic shift. As it started I was thinking, "o, it must get quieter during the chorus, 'cause this is sort of medium." But no, you got big. Really big. Perfect.

So right on, congratulations, and thanks for playing LouMan. I wish I could buy you a drink.

M

[Grapestomper]

Okay, my turn I guess.


Your turn indeed!

Good song, well delivered.

I like the way you let the feedback from the guitars in the first chorus linger through the second verse.

Good title too, as McAllister pointed out already.

Not quite into the 'Webs' neighborhood of dynamic shift, but I doubt any of us will rival him there... definitely good enough.

So, yeah! Full rep-points!
M

[Webs]

LouMan,

Another person here enjoying your song title. Good choice.

I liked the song, and share Grapestomper's appreciation for the sustained guitar feedback running through the third verse. If you end up revisiting the song ever, I'd love to see how it sounds with the feedback ending abruptly on beat 4 of the measure that contains the lyric "free." I predict it would accentuate that point in the lyrical message as well as set up a softer dynamic right before you slam into that second chorus.

Other things that caught my ear:

* I like how you tie the same chord progression you use in the "intro" into the tail of each verse progression.

* Your use of a second "A" accent in measure 5 between the intro and the first verse was also very effective. I expected the lyrics to begin on the downbeat of measure 5, and you delayed my expectations thus catching more of my listening attention.

Nice work!

[LouMan]

Thanks guys, you're too kind.

I was realy concerned about the quiet loud thing. I knew I had the loud thing down, but I was worried that it wasn't quiet enough. I'm glad you guys still dug it though.

I don't know where I got the title from- it just kind of came to me. Before I came up with it, the only thing I could think of was "right between the thighs" and I wasn't sure I wanted to go there...:lol:

I really enjoy doing these song challenge-type things. For some reason, they really inspire me to write which is usually a problem for me.

I don't know if I'll be able to submit one for every month, but I'll do as many as I can...

Thanks again,
Lou

[Grapestomper]

Alright, here goes:

It's as finished as I'm gonna make it...

M

[LouMan]

Alright, here goes:

It's as finished as I'm gonna make it...

M

Well, you totally nailed the quiet part. :grin:


Maybe you posted before the upload completed?

[Grapestomper]

Well, you totally nailed the quiet part.



:lol:

For some reason, the attachment didn't 'stick' the first time.

I re-did it with an edit.


One of the things I struggled with on this one is that this song seems quite derivative to me... but I can't figgure out what I'm ripping off unconciously. Let me know if it reminds you too much of anything.

[Webs]

Grapestomper,

You got plenty of dynamic range. Nice.
I'm pretty sure you are the first of us this month who went quiet rather than loud on the chorus (or at least what I'm perceiving you'd consider the chorus). Bravo. The rhythmic change further helps differentiate chorus from verse strongly and effectively.

I also like the lyrical approach in the verses.

As far as your derivative concerns, nothing is jumping out at me.

webs.

[McAllister]

Cool song. Angular. Triangular, even.
I dig where the dynamic shift happens as it's opposite to everyone else's (mine included)(mine should be posted by Sunday, latest).

Sounds like something to me, but I can't put my finger on exactly what. But then again, everything sounds like something. Rest easy, the bell it's ringing is very small & faint.

M

[McAllister]

All:
My song is done. Mixed. Complete.
I will post it ASAP, but I can't tell when that will be.

It's called Fail For You.

Right on, and thanks for your indulgence ofmy lateness.

M

[mingus]

Wow, guys. That's some really good stuff.

Webs: the song, dynamics and overall production are great.

LouMan: very cool song.

Grapestomper: Like the others said, I like how you went soft on the chorus. It's cool when a song goes in a different direction than you expect.

You guys are kicking my ass! It's a good thing because it will push me to improve my game.

[Webs]

Ok, I'm in a bit of a smartass mood, no, a SERIOUS smartass mood, so grain-of-salt time, no harm meant, etc...

If this or similar requirement comes around again, somebody please compose 'right between the thighs' or I will be forced to.
Calling that title ripe would be an understatement. Perhaps the cunning Mingus could be convinced to collaborate?

Mc, I LIKE "Fail for you" as a title very much. It's lightly and playfully ironic that you're going to be late on this one.

ok, I'm done now, but I'll be at the Red Lion all week. Thanks folks, you've been wonderful.

[McAllister]

"Right Between The Thighs"

I don't know if there was ever a better title. Especially for someone like The Honky Donkey. Beautiful.

M

[Webs]

The Honkey could certainly uh, er, well, do it, but you'd want LouMan's permission first.

[LouMan]

[QUOTE=Webs;20561]The Honkey could certainly uh, er, well, do it, but you'd want LouMan's permission first.

QUOTE]

Oh puhleeze. If you like it, have at it.

I'd love to hear what you guys come up with.

Lou

[McAllister]

My apologies for the delay:



M

[Grapestomper]

I really like this song, McAllister.

Just after a few listens, I can say that I find the simple melody very attractive, and I really like what you do with the instrumental part. Great vibe throughout, as before.

I think you were much more sucessfull than I was at incorproating the dynamic shift (and the tweeked-phrase) into the song. (Mine had a wide dynamic swing, but I think I overplayed it in the mix.) It sounds very natural here.

Worth waiting for.

I'll really be looking forward to hearing Team Azimuth in a few months...

Mike

[Webs]

Mc,

Another nice one! (no surprise).
Plenty of dynamic range, nice melodies and arrangement.
I also dug the overall sound you got in the recording.
One little thing I really liked was in your percussion track... last verse, dropping out the hat at the end of each phrase in the first half of that verse and then the 3 beats of silence before the final chorus. Cool. (I might have wished for more of the 'dropped out hat' phrasing on parts of the other verses as well.)

Dynamic range was spot on. While Grapestomper thinks he overplayed his range in the mix, and I KNOW for sure I did... but that was the point of the challenge... exaggerated ppp to fff, no? I think the key lesson from the Jan challenge involves better understanding just how much dynamic shift in a particular genre (I'd argue it varies quite a bit) is appropriate. In my case, the version of "to see or not to see" I gave out to my non-womb-member friends was a remix with a more modest dynamic range than what I posted here, and that version sounds more musical to me.
Your mix just seemed right.

Webs.