Critique this!

[Mark]

This is an updated version of a song I posted elsewhere and got one useful comment on. Heh - maybe it sucked so bad people didn't know what to say :)

In any case - I know about the timing problems with the vocals - if the singer was really a singer and not a guitar player, maybe they wouldn't be there. I'm more interested in mix comments, but I'll take whatever comments you have.

The attached file is 160Kbps. You can listen to a 256Kbps version here (http://fholes.laughingd.com).

[dnafe]

Hey Mark

If you remember....

Caveat - Laptop, headphones yada yada

Drums are a little flat and too roomy for the rest of the recording (IMHO) they should be closer to the action not sitting in the background asking for permission to play

The vocals are loud enough

Might be my phones but the bass is pretty well mush and nondescript (is that a word?) so take that comment with a grain of saltpeter

Guitars sound okay...solid...like guitars...this is good

YMMV

DOn



Well the drum/bass issue hasn't changed. The vocals are still loud enough but now the guitars are missing some beef

[Mark]

I guess I need an idea of how to fix what you're hearing because here the bass sounds very different from how it was before. My room is not ideal (far from it), and I'm working on it, but it's gonna be weeks before I gets some improvement in that area.

[Carlo]

Hey Mark

If you remember....




Well the drum/bass issue hasn't changed. The vocals are still loud enough but now the guitars are missing some beef

Testing, testing...is this mike on??

[dwoz]

Testing, testing...is this mike on??

aww...you're right...I'll tell my kids that dinner has to wait...I have a critique to do.

Be back shortly.


dwoz

[dnafe]

Testing, testing...is this mike on??

Was this ment for me or Mark?

[Carlo]

Was this ment for me or Mark?

To Mark, in the sense that you DID give him a firm, and supportive critique, probably quickly after he posted, so he should remember to remember!

My Dad used to say 'you throw a stick into a pile of dogs...the one hit on the head yelps the loudest.'

I can relate to his wanting more input, but you, dnafe, always hit the first or second pitch, and as usual, you got a hit this time also!

[dnafe]

Hey Carlo

thanks for clarifying that for me.

Mark and I have been PM-ing and with any luck his next update should be quite different...hopefully in a positive sense.

DOn

[Mark]

Updated - I tried to address dnafe's issues, hopefully with more success than previously, and I redid the vocal track. Sorry Carlo, I couldn't find a gun to hold to my head, so I had my wife dress in her most threatening outfit (leather, handcuffs, a whip) and told her to look menacing... I don't know if it had the intended effect, though.

http://fholes.laughingd.com

[Tim Halligan]

Two things:

1. Where is this updated version?

and;



2.
...so I had my wife dress in her most threatening outfit (leather, handcuffs, a whip) and told her to look menacing...

Umm...



















...Pictures?








Cheers,
Tim

[Aardvark]

Before we get to the mix issues...the track has some timing problems that are distracting as opposed to 'human touch' confirmational.

Actually there is a total lack of groove, which is exacerbated by the singer's turgid delivery. The song is also too long to support the ideas presented...the guitarists are not up to carrying extended solo sections in particular the outro. Less is more...more or less.

Mix wise...Get some point on the kick pronto and do some better carving between the middle/top of the bass and the corresponding frequencies on the bottom of the guitars…to muddy for my tastes.

The vox, however uninteresting to me, sits fine in the mix.

Good mixes start with good songs and good arrangements…you can tweak this all day but nothing is going to make it shine as bright as you would like without a new, tighter arrangement and more inspired performances.

I recommend you move on to another song and revisit this one in a year when the band is wiser, better able and nicely removed from this recording.

Best of luck with your music.


Cheers,
Aardvark
:Wink:

[Carlo]

Sorry Carlo, I couldn't find a gun to hold to my head, so I had my wife dress in her most threatening outfit (leather, handcuffs, a whip) and told her to look menacing... I don't know if it had the intended effect, though.



I wish my ol' lady would back me up like your's does!

[Mixerman]

This is an updated version of a song I posted elsewhere and got one useful comment on. Heh - maybe it sucked so bad people didn't know what to say :)

In any case - I know about the timing problems with the vocals - if the singer was really a singer and not a guitar player, maybe they wouldn't be there. I'm more interested in mix comments, but I'll take whatever comments you have.

The attached file is 160Kbps. You can listen to a 256Kbps version here (http://fholes.laughingd.com).

Aside from being a bit bright for my tastes, I think the first mix is fine. Even the kik (don't listen to Aardy about the pointy kik drum, he just wants your kick to match the top of his head.)

Cut 4 minutes from the song.

EDIT: The revision that you posted later in this thread is awful. Go back to the first version, and don't take mixing advice on the internet unless it comes from me.

Enjoy,

Mixerman

[Mixerpuppet]

At 1:4X to 1:5X the vox is out of tune... the problem repeats off and on throughout the song...

I hear flat guitar fills at 2:0X - 2:26min....

The chorus sections need some BGV's or something to distinguish it from the rest of the song...

Kill the solo.... please...

Way too long...

The rhythm gtrs are working fine and the drums are pretty good...

[Mark]

Cut 4 minutes from the song.

EDIT: The revision that you posted later in this thread is awful.

Putting the song on a diet is going to be hard. It's like our little baby that we've overindulged with lots of candy, but we love it anyway :)

What I'd love to know is more about what made the second version awful vs. the first.

Aardvark - Yes, the timing problems are distracting. None of it was tracked at the same time, and some of the players (notably, the drummer) hadn't played in a very long time. These problems, I hope, will get better over time. I can't learn how to mix without tracks to mix, and this is what I've got to work with for the moment.

Anyway - thanks all for the comments. I'll try out some various arrangements and see if I can't some of the other problems licked.

[Mixerman]

Putting the song on a diet is going to be hard. It's like our little baby that we've overindulged with lots of candy, but we love it anyway :)

What I'd love to know is more about what made the second version awful vs. the first.

Aardvark - Yes, the timing problems are distracting. None of it was tracked at the same time, and some of the players (notably, the drummer) hadn't played in a very long time. These problems, I hope, will get better over time. I can't learn how to mix without tracks to mix, and this is what I've got to work with for the moment.

Anyway - thanks all for the comments. I'll try out some various arrangements and see if I can't some of the other problems licked.

I didn't listen past the first snare hit. You had a good mix before because I listened to the song. The second mix, I heard a snare drum, and that was enough for me.

Mixerman