View Full Version : I know some of you need work but....

March 7th, 2007, 03:53 AM
Sorry for the rant, but this is really getting to me lately.

Just in case some of you have not worked for a mid to large sized company, let me explain some of the fun you have to put up with.

The yearly required training classes. I know what you are thinking, wow that's great that they care about you so much to make sure that you are learning new skills.


Wrong. This has nothing to do with you learning or improving your skills, this is about the landsharks covering the company ass. These yearly course are, on topics like, Harasment in the Workplace, Privacy and Data Protection, Ethics, etc.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that these subjects are not important. My beef is with how they are presented. And the only reason you are required to take these classes is so the lawyers can say, it's not our fault, don't sue the company, we trained every employee.

Now the real pain comes in. Someone thought this web stuff is cool, let's make all the class some web based thingy, it would be so cool, the employees will really enjoy it. And rather than flying text and time wasting graphics on the screen, lets add.......

A voice the reads everything fucking thing to you at the pace of a 2 year old.

And they make it so you can't fast forward, you have to listen to everything before the next page button is active. You also have to do everything in order to reach the end of the course and get credit for it.

So the next time someone comes to you and wants to record some VO work for some web based training course, please remember the pain you are about to inflict. Explain to them you don't want to be related in anyway to the torture that their employees will have to endure.

And please make sure you don't tell them how to use a cheap assed USB mic in their office with the phone ringing in the background. Yes, I just had to put up with an hour and a half "training" course like this.

Tim Halligan
March 7th, 2007, 04:16 AM


Yes...I've had to record a few of these voice-overs, but they were quicker than "2 year-old" pace...possibly because we didn't have to worry about any employees for whom English is a second language.

A couple of the big mining companies went this way with their site induction training schemes, because it could produce measurable results...the employee had to pay attention in order to pass, and therefore be able to actually work on site...and those places are dangerous - especially the underground mines and the offshore rigs...

It's a living... :Roll eyes:


March 7th, 2007, 04:35 AM
because it could produce measurable results...the employee had to pay attention in order to pass

I can read and retain information very quickly, forcing me to listen to the same words that are printed on the screen is just a waste of time.

I can see measureable results if people can't read, but then how the fuck did you get to the website to take the training if you can't read?

Tim Halligan
March 7th, 2007, 05:34 AM
These were on the company intranet, or set up on a dedicated computer in the training room.

Whatever, it meant that they could bring employees up to speed - or not, as the case may be - as and when required...rather than waiting until they had a backlog to bring in the induction trainer.

It must work...these companies are claiming much improved LTI-free days.

I also understand why you'd hate them...I'm not so keen on them myself...but when the paying client says "we're gonna do one of them website training packages", what am I meant to say?

I like eating on a regular basis. :D


March 7th, 2007, 05:36 AM
Yes! I just went through a bunch of that stuff with my employer.

Though I think we had the option of turning off the voice and clicking through the lessons at our own pace. I chose to go the slow route on the theory that I wouldn't have to repeat anything that way.

On the plus side, I can now cite our ergonomics training course as justification for requesting a new, nicer chair to sit on.

March 7th, 2007, 05:56 AM
Vent, Spock. I know exactly what you're talking about.

It's ugly, it's inane, utterly useless, and all about nothing more than putting on a show.

Oh, yeah, and naturally, when you're all done, the dipshits that insisted on all of it as sort of supposed grand plan for goodness then expect you to get it in gear and still get done the work you would have been getting done while you were wasting time being tortured with this.

Extra stupid irony points when you're busting ass to play catch up on the work you would have been getting done if you hadn't been forced to spend that time on some idiotic CD-ROM, web, or video based piece of shit "training course" called something like "How to make Effective Use of Your Time"


March 7th, 2007, 07:46 PM
Years ago, when I worked for a Christian organization, we were required to go through a Sexual Harassment seminar. (It was required by law because the company had more than 100 employees, or something like that.) The whole thing was ridiculous, but we had to go.

It just so happened that my wife worked for the same company, but in a different department. It also just so happened that we got scheduled to go to the seminar at the same time.

I spent the whole time "sexually harassing" her.


March 7th, 2007, 07:53 PM
Spock: A voice the reads everything fucking thing to you at the pace of a 2 year old.

So the text is on the screen, AND it gets force-fed/read to the viewer? What about muting the jackassery? And recorded so shabbily on top of it all. :Roll eyes:

As for that insanely sounding slow pace of the V.O., what the hell are people who can't read doing working in places like that anywho?

Guess it makes for more cash if they're paid by the hour... :Wink:

Hope you kept your phaser on stun, Spocky...

: J

March 8th, 2007, 02:10 AM
Yes, JG, the text is on the screen and audio at the same time. Now I must admit, that most of the them the VO work has been OK. Some in the past have even been cute, a man reads the odd pages then a woman reads the even pages. Each module, they switch. The one I had to take 2 months ago, the text was forced on you by a computer synthetic voice, ouch. This last one was very bad. Hold you nose, put in a bunch of hiss and general office sounds in the background, and say, "Hello, this is Karen XXXXXXX, director of XXXXXXX. In order to help our customers....."

Yes I mute the sound, but I still have to wait till they get done with a page before I can push the next button to move on.

If this was on work time it would be bad, but because I'm sub-sub-contracted, and my customer has blocked my company's network, the only way I can get my offical company E-mail and stuff is to VPN in when I get home. The VPN access is not very fast, and having to wait for some Flash/Web thing to suck down a ton of crappy audio I don't want to listen to, just makes it even worse.