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New Car Scott
March 8th, 2007, 04:44 PM
He didn't write it...

Hi guys. I'm old too old to be in this business, too old and too bitter, but I still amazed at what there is to learn...and also the fascinating people in this business. Of course most are anything but interesting. Most are quite boring.. There are only two methods of money that I hold in lower esteem; actors, an example picked at random....I don't know.....how about Suzanne Summers? whose only goal seems to be to live forever, and if that is not possible then to look unwrinkled in the glass sarophocus that her husband will not doubt build for her..enough but to say....when she speaks I begin to feel that Osama has a sharp point of argument. But the lowest of course is modeling, whose brain ossifying rigor extracts the soul.. for is there anything more dangerous to the human spirit then to live on ones appearance? The profound shallowness of this experience is anti-life.

But I am not here to tear down..I am here to celebrate and when you hear whose life I wish to celebrate you will mock me in open places and not draw near me for fear of common association.

I beg you listen.

This man was a figure of extreme derision as I grew up. He was, in my friends eyes and mine, quite loath-able, both in his music and his personal custom. Granted, many musical artists of the time dressed in absurd night clothes for stage but the "mens figure skating" persona left me uncomfortable as a young sexually insecure male. His songs had the tooth-rotting sweetness of heated marshmallows and when you heard one of his songs....say at a wedding..... you wanted to shower afterwords for fear of infection. His voice was that of a plucked piano string with a piece of paper resonating against it. Irritatingly pleasant and pleasantly irritating.

In short, I had long ago put aside any thoughts of his recovery to that of human status. With this bias so firmly planted in my mind, you must imagine my reaction to me seeing a few weeks ago, a Bio channel show on this man. I sensibly concluded that the Bio channel had finally bottomed out and that they must have done the brother of the man who designed Scooby Doo and now they show were really needing anything. But for some karmic reason I surfed back...perhaps out of that pathetic sense of superiority..perhaps to seek a new reason to hate...yes life can be that pointless.

In any case, I went back and watched. What remains of me is a changed man. I have grown up some, and I have come to see this man as someone who I can respect. He started as a writer..he grew up listening.....by his fathers doctrine....to jazz. His instrumental talent was sure and he was a precocious player. By the time he was 20, he was well known in the titanic local music scene in which he spawned. He worked as an arranger for a singular talent who has gone on to attain near legendary status.

One day he brought a friends song to a plugger. Complaining there wasn't a recorded vocal, the plugger asked if our man would sing it so they could have a guide vocal.

Our man demurred saying "I'm not a singer" They knew that but just sing it...it doesn't matter..He sang it and the guy said "You are a singer." "no I'm not"..."you are now."

The song demo was heard by a famous head of a big label. He wanted to hear more, he went to see our man perform live...he saw an "entertainer' with a surprising self-deprecating humor and charisma. He was signed and the first record disappeared. But there was mega hit sitting on the record...They did a second record with the song again and it went huge. For the next 4 or five years this guy was the top of the pops.

Keep in mind that all he ever wanted to do was write and arrange song for others and play regularly!

But rock star success just kept coming...So in touch was he with the pop muse that to escape fame and his "asshole phase"...(a time of complete pop star-indulgence and self importance..a period that he regrets and hence the name..) he took a trip with a friend to the Cuba...there while relaxing he remarked to his friend (who was a lyricist) that there was a certain word that was everywhere on signs...He thought it was a good word for a song. He told his friend..."remember that word." His friend did.

Upon return to his home he got a call from his friend who was still in Cuba...friend had written lyrics and he recited them with the all-important right rhythm to our man over the phone...Our man then claims "anybody could have written a song from the lyrics." a rather modest assessment to say the least. What followed was a international hit that still makes me want to vomit, however it made him millions.

Millions came more and he kept on doing the songs that he was told to do, racking up hit after hit album. But his soul was rotting and he refers to this time as his "golden handcuff" period.

One day, he is given a song that he feels has a good melody but as he reads the lyrics..."Oh my God"....even he, this satin-dressed man...even he feels he cannot sing it..money be damned....However, he is told to do it. He tries...he tries fifty times to sing the chorus lyric but it gets caught in his throat. It is a preposterous line...it embarrasses him to the very core..he, this man who was raised idolizing the great jazz master composers...please don't make him sing this song...let him change the chorus line. It is the most humiliating line ever seen in the history of music.

He is told to do the song the way it is written and go cry in his Rolls Royce. He swallows hard and sings the God-forsaken line, giving in to the advice of a man (and his boss) who has never been wrong in selecting hits for him...

It becomes a huge hit. The first time he performs it.......... and they show this on tape.....he turns to the crowd and says apologetically..."this song was written by......." and then he sheepishly sings it. Making it clear that he indeed did not write the song ...or for that matter, all the other songs, or for that matter, that he did not........ write the songs that make the whole world sing!

Yes I'm talking about Barry. A way cooler dude than I thought.....yes he looks like a Afgan/wizard of Oz Scarecrow amalgam, but the guy is serious player/arranger...just ask Bette M. He definitely was as shocked as anyone that he would ever become a star. This fact pleases me, for how many have you met that were so absolutely convinced of their impending stardom...that it was their right! Not Manilow, in fact the key personality trait that comes across is that of true humility.

Lesson? For me?

1. Who freaking knows how your career will move and grow, you are not a master of this river
2. Always judge a cover by its book
3.Copabana is indeed "a good word for a song"

From the north....peace out.

magicchord
March 8th, 2007, 05:07 PM
The man is so good he has a Modulation named after him.

Remember that the next time you go up a half-step for the final chorus.

New Car Scott
March 8th, 2007, 05:57 PM
I laughed out loud when I read your post...

Can you understand my hesitation in admitting that "hey there is talented person in there!"

CurtZHP
March 8th, 2007, 06:30 PM
I've had that happen before. I watch a documentary about some artist that I normally can't stand, and come away with a newfound respect for them as an artist.


Still don't like their music though!

Droolbucket
March 8th, 2007, 07:00 PM
I was in Junior High when Barry was all over the charts. At that time, in comparison to a lot of the other stuff on the radio at that time, he had some great songs. Remember, this was pop music, considered by many to be a throw-away commodity. The half-step modulation hadn't been overdone at the time, and was just another arrangement tool to build a song to a climax. Even then, it was common knowledge that he was a reluctant star, and his career of choice was writing and arranging.
Copacabana was a huge hit for a reason.... the song had lyrics that stuck in your head, and a great hook. If it hadn't been so overplayed, we wouldn't be sick of it today. (I can't stand "Philadelphia Freedom" by Elton John for the same reason... it was incredibly overplayed back in the 70's..)
I have a lot of respect for the guy. In fact, I had a torrid make-out session with a hot brunette while listening to her latest Barry Manilow album. To this day, if I hear "Could This Be Magic" or "Mandy", I get adolescent wood.




My wife won't get on an elevator with me anymore.:grin:

("Hey! Droolbucket's got a boner!!")

Droolbucket

mousdrvr
March 8th, 2007, 07:13 PM
Can you understand my hesitation in admitting that "hey there is talented person in there!"


NCS,

I've come to find that, for the most part , the world just refuses to parse itself according to our judgments and that, righteous or not we ourselves tend to suffer their burden most. Talent, whatever the hell that is, craft, attitude, character, and certainly the "Art" they do or don't produce can all be in some senses orthogonal to one another.

Tolstoy was a dick

Barry is a righteous cat

Dog Shit too has Buddha nature.


Anyway, thanks for the observation and welcome to the Womb dude.




-mous

J.G.
March 8th, 2007, 07:19 PM
Thanks, Scott.

Helluva post, for a helluva talent.

:Thumbsup:

: J

Webs
March 8th, 2007, 08:09 PM
New Car Scott, "You are a writer." "no I'm not"..."you are now."

Mixerpuppet
March 8th, 2007, 08:37 PM
I was just reminded of how much I dislike Barry Manilow music....


Talent and taste are subjective...


I don't own nor have I ever owned a BM record and I changed the radio if I heard a BM song.


It's good to be untalented considering the alternatives....

Webs
March 8th, 2007, 08:41 PM
Mixerpuppet, denial is the first sign...

PRobb
March 8th, 2007, 09:22 PM
We would all like to think that great music is made by nice people and crappy music is made by assholes. Ain't true, as we all know.:icon_eek: :very happy:

I try to make a distinction between music I like and music I think is "good". Manilow falls into the "I think he does what he does very well, I just don't like what he does" category.

CloseToTheEdge
March 8th, 2007, 09:48 PM
One thing that strikes me as a hack songwriter is that I have been told that I have a particular style and my bandmates can tell one of my songs in a heartbeat.

While I like my style enough to continue facing the blank page, the type of songs I would like to write in my heart of hearts would be in a completely different genre and probably in another decade!

Perhaps that is also the case with Mr. Manilow. Sometimes there is more to a person than what you may hear in their music.

In my case though, there is not.

:Uh oh:

ggunn
March 8th, 2007, 09:56 PM
I knew who you would be writing about from reading the subject line. I never liked or identified with what he does, usually referring to him as "Barely Manenough", but I knew nothing about his story. When I heard that he didn't write that song, it seemed the height of hypocrisy to me; thanks for the new perspective.

Webs
March 8th, 2007, 10:00 PM
CloseToTheEdge:

Unless one is under contract or other benefit to do so, should one not write what is in their "heart of hearts," genre, decade, etc. be damned? I would think the results would be more believable and accessible to the audience...

weedywet
March 8th, 2007, 10:07 PM
That's a nice romanticised "made for tv" version of the story.

But I know a lot more about that than I can say.

It's not quite so simple.

Not that I have anything against Barry Manilow personally... not at all.


But a lot of people found songs that went into breaking him as an artiste...

Mixerpuppet
March 8th, 2007, 10:09 PM
Mixerpuppet, denial is the first sign...


Im not denying anything...

Im a talentless hack...

it's obvious and I wear it on my sleeve next to my Scarlet Letter...

You must be new here...

Webs
March 8th, 2007, 10:27 PM
... and apparently ggun only respects artists who write their own songs exclusively. Must make for a small media collection.
Ever co-write? Cool enough if you don't, but just consider...

ggun, I'm not chopping at you, just pointing out that a ton of successful artists, even some good ones, sometimes purchase other author's songs.

... Whether it's Manilow or anybody else is irrelevant.

Webs
March 8th, 2007, 10:31 PM
Im not denying anything...

Im a talentless hack...

it's obvious and I wear it on my sleeve next to my Scarlet Letter...

You must be new here...

Mixer, it was meant as a joke. No worries. Perhaps you might have responded "you're right, I do have a problem with Barry," then I would have responded "I knew it!" It's a great argument no one can win, hence the fun in employing it.

All in good fun, my fellow PNW'er.

Respectfully, webs.

PRobb
March 8th, 2007, 10:34 PM
Didn't he write the "You Deserve a Break Today" song for McDonald's?

Webs
March 8th, 2007, 10:34 PM
That's a nice romanticised "made for tv" version of the story.

But I know a lot more about that than I can say.

It's not quite so simple.

Not that I have anything against Barry Manilow personally... not at all.


But a lot of people found songs that went into breaking him as an artiste...

Well that goes an immensely long way in illuminating things.
Oh, by the way, I might know a TON about several seventies bands and hamsters, but THAT'S MORE THAN I CAN SAY. WTF?

jerryskid
March 8th, 2007, 11:35 PM
Im not denying anything...

Im a talentless hack...

it's obvious and I wear it on my sleeve next to my Scarlet Letter...

You must be new here...


And he's on my CAPE team??......oh God.......












:D

Webs
March 8th, 2007, 11:44 PM
Didn't he write the "You Deserve a Break Today" song for McDonald's?

PRobb, if he did, couple that with the alleged Dr. Pepper jingle (Wouldn'cha like to be a pepper too?) and who is laughing now?

(he might -- or might not-- be hurting in his soul for such endeavors, but I predict he must be laughing at the bank. Strictly taken on that endeavor, who can blame him?)


P.s> aren't elements of "wouldn'cha you like to be a pepper too?" vs. "don'tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" strikingly similar?

Shotgun
March 9th, 2007, 12:34 AM
NewCar: You write gooder'n fuck, hoss. I didn't guess Barry till like a couple paragraphs in, but I did guess early. I think "Mandy" and "I write the songs..." are hella good songs, written well, sung well and produced well. I dunno what all kinda "ooh look at me" dirt Wet Willy knows, but The Manilow is a force IMHO. And you get rep for that post. Kickass.

PRobb: I do know he wrote "I'd like to teach the world to sing" for Coke.

~S

dwoz
March 9th, 2007, 01:00 AM
When I was at Berklee, Manilow came over for a seminar/master class, which I attended. The man earned the fierce respect of all the jazz shredders in the audience who came to be annoyed by him. Very pragmatic, workingman perspectives, very down to earth and not at all self-stoked about how wonderful he was. His main point was that he had a very well-defined toolkit that he used diligently, that had propelled him to a high degree of financial success in the industry, and he was very unapologetic to boot.

to paraphrase, (its been some years since then), his main point was to just stop pretending that playing onstage was some kind of high art, it was friggin' entertainment, and entertainment is all about making people happy and giving them what they want. And there's NOTHING wrong with entertaining people. If you're standing on stage, you're there for THEM, not you, so fuck off with your "this is my art" bullshit."


He wasn't quite so blunt, but that was the gist.

dwoz

J.G.
March 9th, 2007, 01:22 AM
I don't own nor have I ever owned a BM record...

Neither have I, and here's hoping my twilight-years bloggings don't end up revolving 'round that subject. :Razz:

...and I changed the radio if I heard a BM song.

Man, what stations to you listen to? I thought that topic was one of the "no-go's" for public radio.

; J

FajitaTone
March 9th, 2007, 01:56 AM
PRobb, if he did, couple that with the alleged Dr. Pepper jingle (Wouldn'cha like to be a pepper too?) and who is laughing now?

(he might -- or might not-- be hurting in his soul for such endeavors, but I predict he must be laughing at the bank. Strictly taken on that endeavor, who can blame him?)


P.s> aren't elements of "wouldn'cha you like to be a pepper too?" vs. "don'tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" strikingly similar?

Sir Mix-A-Lot is the person responsible for the original version of the "dont'cha" hook.

"...Don'tcha wish your boyfriend was Swass like me?" From the album Swass.

weedywet
March 9th, 2007, 02:31 AM
And that's a pretty right on "gist"!


When I was at Berklee, Manilow came over for a seminar/master class, which I attended. The man earned the fierce respect of all the jazz shredders in the audience who came to be annoyed by him. Very pragmatic, workingman perspectives, very down to earth and not at all self-stoked about how wonderful he was. His main point was that he had a very well-defined toolkit that he used diligently, that had propelled him to a high degree of financial success in the industry, and he was very unapologetic to boot.

to paraphrase, (its been some years since then), his main point was to just stop pretending that playing onstage was some kind of high art, it was friggin' entertainment, and entertainment is all about making people happy and giving them what they want. And there's NOTHING wrong with entertaining people. If you're standing on stage, you're there for THEM, not you, so fuck off with your "this is my art" bullshit."


He wasn't quite so blunt, but that was the gist.

dwoz

weedywet
March 9th, 2007, 02:32 AM
Well that goes an immensely long way in illuminating things.
Oh, by the way, I might know a TON about several seventies bands and hamsters, but THAT'S MORE THAN I CAN SAY. WTF?

Yeah, you "might", but I'll bet you DON'T.

Droolbucket
March 9th, 2007, 02:49 AM
Man, what stations to you listen to? I thought that topic was one of the "no-go's" for public radio.

; J

Hell, Pounce is TRACKING those BM tunes as we speak...check out the "I need a bigger drum room" thread!:D

Droolbucket

Webs
March 9th, 2007, 03:12 AM
Yeah, you "might", but I'll bet you DON'T.

So I take it anything you claimed knowing you still will not be sharing? Which begs: why did you bring it up?

I write the hints that I will not fulfill... I lead you on and I will not spill anything. I'll tell you I know, I know everything. I write the hints... I write the hints.

magicchord
March 9th, 2007, 04:22 AM
So I take it anything you claimed knowing you still will not be sharing? Which begs: why did you bring it up?

I write the hints that I will not fulfill... I lead you on and I will not spill anything. I'll tell you I know, I know everything. I write the hints... I write the hints.

I am Gossip (gossip)
And I write the hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiints!

weedywet
March 9th, 2007, 06:55 AM
So I take it anything you claimed knowing you still will not be sharing? Which begs: why did you bring it up?

I write the hints that I will not fulfill... I lead you on and I will not spill anything. I'll tell you I know, I know everything. I write the hints... I write the hints.


I brought it up to say that that version, in which he comes complete with the songs he covers, as though they are his idea, isn't accurate.

A LOT of artistes who are famous for a song (or several) that they didn't write, and who may even be believed to have written them (even though they didn't) by the general public, had to be arm twisted into doing them or releasing them at all.

Of course, later, it's cooler to say "*I* was doing this song when Clive saw me" rather than "Clive had this song he wanted me to do".

PRobb
March 9th, 2007, 07:06 AM
Hell, Pounce is TRACKING those BM tunes as we speak...check out the "I need a bigger drum room" thread!:D

Droolbucket
Huh huh huh, he said BM. Huh huh huh:icon_eek: :Roll eyes: :lol:

Cosmic Pig
March 9th, 2007, 11:24 AM
Heh... yeah I figured if it was me writing it would be about bm.

I don't buy into those docuspin things too much, but the dude can write a hook. Seems like an okay guy, never screwed me out of a gig or anything, so there ya go. At least he never seemed to be jamming his tunes down our throats and baiting the paparazzi to keep his career afloat. I guess that's classy these days.

Cos.

Johnny
March 9th, 2007, 03:56 PM
I went to a clinic by BM's percussionist once. He did an entire lesson on playing the shaker and how hard it is to shake consistent, constant 16ths for all 5 minutes of "Copacabana."

I respect Barry. I love the modulation in "Mandy." Cheese is tasty sometimes.

J.G.
March 9th, 2007, 04:34 PM
And with cheese, so often comes, bread...

Shake it, BM, shake it. :Razz:

; J

otek
March 9th, 2007, 04:42 PM
NewCar: You write gooder'n fuck, hoss.

That's a pretty big compliment coming from Shotgun.

(I still fondly remember his essay on fishing from way back).

And yes, I agree. Good post.


:D


otek

New Car Scott
March 9th, 2007, 05:51 PM
Dropping a post into this forum is like sticking your finger into a socket. Plus there are a lot of smart thinkin sharks just a-swimming in the local waters, waiting for ya to bleed.

Best watch my mouth from now on.

Dangerous fun...

I ain't a trivia guy but, here is a question....I believe there is only Beatle one song that has a BM (half step or full step)gear change in it.

Any thoughts?

J.G.
March 9th, 2007, 06:11 PM
Dropping a post into this forum is like sticking your finger into a socket. Plus there are a lot of smart thinkin sharks just a-swimming in the local waters, waiting for ya to bleed.

Best watch my mouth from now on.

Dangerous fun...

Sharks, shmarrrks... Just eat enough garlic and they won't be able to come near your blood. :Razz:

Now, I think it's about time I got around to slappin' some rep on yer arse!

; J

magicchord
March 9th, 2007, 06:42 PM
...I ain't a trivia guy but, here is a question....I believe there is only Beatle one song that has a BM (half step or full step)gear change in it.

Any thoughts?

Ooh! ooh! I know!
It's AND I LOVE HER from A Hard Day's Night.

ggunn
March 9th, 2007, 07:37 PM
... and apparently ggun only respects artists who write their own songs exclusively. Must make for a small media collection.
Ever co-write? Cool enough if you don't, but just consider...

ggun, I'm not chopping at you, just pointing out that a ton of successful artists, even some good ones, sometimes purchase other author's songs.

... Whether it's Manilow or anybody else is irrelevant.

Well, duh. Of course. Frank Sinatra never wrote a song in his life AFAIK.

Apart from just not caring for his work (a matter of taste, not a condemnation) I thought it was pretty funny when I found out that he didn't write the song that (IMO) was so self aggrandizing with all that stuff about writing "the songs that make the whole world sing". The song itself, no matter who wrote and/or sang it, was (IMO again) the soul of hubris. That the guy who sang it on the radio didn't write it was irony piled atop it.

But that's from the perspective of someone (me) who didn't know thing one about Manilow apart from what came from the speakers of my radio. The OP presented a new perspective to me, and I appreciate it. It doesn't make me like his stuff any more than I did before, but I gained a little appreciation for the man behind the music.

Anyway, it has nothing to do with whether or not I think that folks in general should or should not play songs that they did not write. And yes, I am very much involved with an original music project (though I am not the songwriter), and yes again, we play a few covers. Machs nichts.

weedywet
March 9th, 2007, 08:18 PM
Even My Generation has a modulation up a step.
That doesn't bug me.

what we always call the "clive ending" is that awful VOCAL jump from the 5th to the high octave root, a la "and I write the.... SONGS!!!!!" ending.

the big FINISH.

ugh.

Webs
March 9th, 2007, 08:42 PM
ggun,

as I said before, I wasn't trying to bust your chops, your "well duh" moment aside.

That said, while I respect Barry in a couple ways, I'm not a huge fan either, ...but now I think you should be. Just because.

Why not?
John Lennon wasn't "the" walrus.
Cyndi Lauper wasn't exactly telling the truth with "girls JUST want to have fun."
Queen weren't the "champions" very long
Fergie's not exactly "glamorous."
Fall Out Boy apparently has a tenuous grasp on reality.
No one I know has actually purchased that "stairway to heaven" -- financed perhaps, but no one has outright bought one of those dang things.
Michael Jackson ...eh, ok, not going there.

Madonna said she was "like a virgin," why can't Barry claim he makes the whole world sing?

I can think of a lot of worse things.



* disclaimer: before anybody's in a snit, I used the artists above for their statements or lyrics, NOT because of any like/dislike.

ggunn
March 9th, 2007, 09:16 PM
ggun,

as I said before, I wasn't trying to bust your chops, your "well duh" moment aside.

That said, while I respect Barry in a couple ways, I'm not a huge fan either, ...but now I think you should be. Just because.


No thanks. I'll pass.

I hate that fargin' song. It sounds to me to be in severe danger of breaking its arm patting itself on the back, it's so self congratulatory. It's just plain sappy with overblown instrumentals and bombastic melody lines, and whoever sings it sounds so full of himself that it sends me leaping to the tuner knob whenever I hear the first notes of it coming out of the radio. And when I found out that the guy singing it so earnestly, bragging to the world that he practically hung the moon as far as the music biz is concerned, didn't even write that song at all, well, I thought my head would explode.

Anyway, that's my opinion; feel free to disagree. Barry Manilow is probably a helluva guy; I just hate that song.

J.G.
March 9th, 2007, 09:25 PM
"I hate the songs that make the whole world byaaatch"...

; J

Droolbucket
March 9th, 2007, 09:35 PM
Even My Generation has a modulation up a step.
That doesn't bug me.

what we always call the "clive ending" is that awful VOCAL jump from the 5th to the high octave root, a la "and I write the.... SONGS!!!!!" ending.

the big FINISH.

ugh.


Dang.... and here I always sing "The Way of Love" by Cher on karaoke night.

Is that wrong?

Droolbucket

Webs
March 9th, 2007, 10:10 PM
Droolbucket, I'm sad to say, no one should ever resolve V to I. It has never happened successfully in any song.

II-V-I and IV-V-I should be banned too. Even if Cher did it.
... and if I ever catch you going all III-VI-II-V-I I'm gonna call you on it! Seriously, no email, I'll just call, er, wait your number's not in my Blackberry... I coulda sworn I had it here somewhere...

Webs
March 9th, 2007, 10:14 PM
ggun,

I think you just gave a lot of us here some great Xmas present ideas...
I hope nobody forgets the Hallmark card...

eagan
March 9th, 2007, 10:53 PM
Oh, this whole thread just amuses the hell out of me. Maybe amused isn't the right word. "Bemused" might be more like it.


I mean, alright. Let's see, famous pop singer person known for cheesy pop music with lots of fans for several decades so far has performed songs that he didn't write?

As revelations go, this is right up there with "it's rumored that many politicians often only say what people like to hear so that people will vote to put them in positions of power and keep them there".

And like people said, so what? There's never been any rule that says pop music singers must perform songs they wrote, or it's some kind of scandal.


For that matter, one valid point made in all this is that very often in popular music people and the stuff they do are not always necessarily what it might seem upon a superficial glance.

What? You mean Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars weren't really from Mars? They weren't even spiders? They were actually humans, and from ENGLAND? And the front guy was not only NOT actually ZIGGY, but a guy named David Bowie, who even then turns out was actually a guy named David JONES?

I WANT MY FUCKIN' MONEY BACK!


There is really a valid point to make in all this to point out that there are a lot of people (and what they do) who go beyond whatever two dimensional PR entertainment showbiz cardboard cutout version is the common public view.

But if anybody around on a forum like this one here really needs to have that pointed out, don't mind me too much if I think you're kind of a silly fuck.


JLE

Webs
March 9th, 2007, 11:16 PM
Eagan,

I'd like to let you thank me, but you'd have to transcend 3 of my personalities and you'd have to have believed that it could be magic... that I can't smile without you, that wow, after all this, it looks like we made it,


Oh, but we might have had a few ghost writers along the way.
pause... pause... well, no statistically, that isn't rare at all in this business... that happens. Often. We also have other delusions: not all of our heavy metal people are straight. Not all of our stars have musical talent. Should I keep going?

ggunn
March 9th, 2007, 11:29 PM
ggun,

I think you just gave a lot of us here some great Xmas present ideas...
I hope nobody forgets the Hallmark card...

GGunn at your cervix. And I didn't write that, either. ;^)

ggunn
March 9th, 2007, 11:57 PM
I mean, alright. Let's see, famous pop singer person known for cheesy pop music with lots of fans for several decades so far has performed songs that he didn't write?

As revelations go, this is right up there with "it's rumored that many politicians often only say what people like to hear so that people will vote to put them in positions of power and keep them there".

And like people said, so what? There's never been any rule that says pop music singers must perform songs they wrote, or it's some kind of scandal.



I had only two points:

1) I hate that "I Write the Songs" song. I think that it's cheesy and bombastic. In short, I think it sucks the male protuberance of the rhinoceros. You might have a different opinion of it; that's cool.

2) I find the fact that the guy that belts out that "I Write the Songs" song didn't write that song highly ironic, simply because he's screaming "I WRITE THE SONGS!" to the heavens, making a Big Deal of it, and he didn't write that song.

It has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with whether or not anyone else on the face of the earth wrote or did not write whatever the hell song he or she happens to be singing.

jerryskid
March 10th, 2007, 12:30 AM
Actually, Bruce Johnstone with the Beach Boys wrote the song.....

Smileyblue
March 10th, 2007, 12:41 AM
KISS didn't write most of their music either......in fact, to boot, their LIVE albums weren't even LIVE.....:Wink:

Obviously, Justin Timberlake is not "Bringing Sexy Back" either (well God I hope not eekkkkkk).:icon_eek:

NEW CAR - Thanks for that brilliant piece of writing...my hat off to you Sir. I guessed Manillow about 2 paragraphs in. It was an enlightning look into an artist that I liked as a small child. (You know mum & dad played it in the car on road trips). I never knew that he didn't write them though..... I was always a sucker for "Could it be Magic", "Mandy" and "Looks like we made it".

Props to you....and Rep Points as well....

Smileyblue

eagan
March 10th, 2007, 01:14 AM
1) I hate that "I Write the Songs" song. I think that it's cheesy and bombastic. In short, I think it sucks the male protuberance of the rhinoceros. You might have a different opinion of it; that's cool.

2) I find the fact that the guy that belts out that "I Write the Songs" song didn't write that song highly ironic, simply because he's screaming "I WRITE THE SONGS!" to the heavens, making a Big Deal of it, and he didn't write that song.



There's no way to fully underscore how much I agree with you on that stuff, Gordon.

"You might have a different opinion of it; that's cool."? You trying to say I might like this? Them's close to fightin' wurds, mister!:Twisted:

Cheesy and bombastic is an understatement. It makes me launch lunch. Just fucking wretched.

And I totally agree on the irony of the thing.


That's all beside the point. I just think it's funny that we're even discussing the obvious fact that overblown cheesiness and artifice exists in pop music; and I think it just ought to be massively obvious to anybody involved in the stuff that brings people to a place like this that what somebody has done because they found themselves able to make a major living at it is not necessarily the whole story of them.


JLE

magicchord
March 10th, 2007, 01:23 AM
Not only that, but repeated listens to "I Write the Songs" have curved my spine, blurred my vision, and given me that not-so-fresh feeling.

Webs
March 10th, 2007, 01:29 AM
I hear he cured polio.



I'll be over in the Burt Bacharach thread everybody.

My absolute kudos to the original thread author for enticing us.

Next?

E. Shaun
March 10th, 2007, 03:12 AM
The only Barry Manilow song I rather like is "Mandy"...but that's probably because every time I think of it, I think of Kate Bush's "Wuthering Heights" as the two chorus melodies are so similar (and Kate Bush is an artist who I really like). I'm not old enough to have been around when those two songs came out, but I heard (and liked) "Wuthering Heights" long before I ever heard (and sorta liked) "Mandy."

Fulcrum
March 10th, 2007, 05:01 AM
Even My Generation has a modulation up a step.

Well, three, actually. But who's counting.

That doesn't bug me.

Ibid.

You know, -- and this may be rehashing a point that's already been flogged half to death-- it wasn't so much that he didn't write the song, so much as he did his damndest to sell the song as though he did. In spite of what the OP says was a higher than average distaste for everything about the song, he soldiered in like a pro and either made you believe it or pilloried himself trying.

The one place where the train goes right off the tracks is the line about "An' I wrote-- some-- rocknroll-- so youuuu can moooove," which rocks about as hard as Lawrence Welk on Ex-Lax brownies.

I actually liked this version (http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/player.jhtml?ml_video=77577&ml_collection=&ml_gateway=&ml_gateway_id=&ml_comedian=&ml_runtime=&ml_context=show&ml_origin_url=%2Fshows%2Fthe_colbert_report%2Fvide os%2Fcelebrity_interviews%2Findex.jhtml%3FplayVide o%3D77577&ml_playlist=&lnk=&is_large=true), where he actually modulates up a perfect fourth.

Cosmic Pig
March 10th, 2007, 09:19 PM
The only modulation I ever liked was the one Celine Dion does in "All By Myself". Don't like Celine, Burt, or Barry at all. But there are massive lessons to be learned about music in their crap.

Enya however, is my secret shame.

Cos.

mousdrvr
March 10th, 2007, 09:30 PM
The only modulation I ever liked was the one Celine Dion does in "All By Myself". Don't like Celine, Burt, or Barry at all. But there are massive lessons to be learned about music in their crap.

Enya however, is my secret shame.

Cos.

Dear Cos,

I was just about to finish up my Mai Tai, brush off my white linen slacks, come in off the veranda, and post a scathing and sarcastic rebuttal to your post in the "New Guy" thread. Don't get me wrong, the Mick Jagger thing was on the money, but trashing Steely Dan, AND Norah Jones in the same thread. Have you no shame!?

But Now? Now you have the sack to come out and represent for Enya!?

Dude, all is SO forgiven!


Have some Rep!


yours in Smoothness,



-mous

PRobb
March 10th, 2007, 10:08 PM
GGunn at your cervix. And I didn't write that, either. ;^)
Wow, another Firesign fan!

bbkong
March 10th, 2007, 10:44 PM
Fuck.

Not often do I find myself reading 3 pages of a thread. They usually turn to drool by page two, but since I'm already here I'll share a fond memory.

Some three score years ago I sat at the table of a family gathering attended by a particularly obnoxious aunt who enjoyed tipping the cup and arguing her point, usually to an eye rolling audience. The menu included baked beans and steamed brocolli with cheese.

At some point the topic turned to her great love for Manilow and she just wouldn't let the subject change, going on and on about how wonderful and sexy he was and this continued until I casually interjected that he was gay.

She commenced to put up her dukes and start the Argument to End All Arguments about his particular preference and fueled with whiskey, went on for about two hours about it. Finally she started running out of steam just as the previously mentioned menu items started having their typical gaseous effect. Just as she seemed to drop the subject, I leaned over and let loose a gas cloud that nearly killed the dog and ever so calmly and softly spoke the word: homo.

This only set her off again for 20 minutes, so I did it again. Another eruption. By then all the males in the family were in on the joke and every subsequent fart was accompanied by just silently mouthing the word homo and her flying off in fresh rage screaming 'He's not a queer! He's not a queer!'

Fortunately, this was the last family dinner she ever attended. Shortly after she went into therapy and is now a counselor at a girl's school in New York somewhere I believe.

Just a fond memory, but to this day every time I hear Barry I get an urge to roll over on one cheek.

I can't imagine what her reaction is if she catches wind of unseemly gas.





Oh, and he's probably a pretty nice guy. Assholes don't seem to last long in this business.

mousdrvr
March 11th, 2007, 01:04 AM
I think I'm going to start using the word "bbkong" as a synonym for "perspective", as in "Dude slow down, this is not worth getting upset about, you've lost all bbkong"


-mous

Cosmic Pig
March 11th, 2007, 08:28 AM
Dear Cos,

I was just about to finish up my Mai Tai, brush off my white linen slacks, come in off the veranda, and post a scathing and sarcastic rebuttal to your post in the "New Guy" thread. Don't get me wrong, the Mick Jagger thing was on the money, but trashing Steely Dan, AND Norah Jones in the same thread. Have you no shame!?

But Now? Now you have the sack to come out and represent for Enya!?

Dude, all is SO forgiven!


Have some Rep!


yours in Smoothness,



-mous

Hahaha... Well after watching Dennis Leary say he'd like to drink beer out of BM's skull I sorta feel manly again. I've gained some Bbkong about this.

Cos.

mousdrvr
March 11th, 2007, 08:54 AM
Hahaha... Well after watching Dennis Leary say he'd like to drink beer out of BM's skull I sorta feel manly again. I've gained some Bbkong about this.

Cos.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Oh shit I can just hear Dennis saying that. Have you heard him sing "I'm an Asshole" fucking tears I tell you!

-mous

Fulcrum
March 12th, 2007, 12:12 AM
Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado, hot-fucking-pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby doing 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin' down quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers... yeah! And when I'm done suckin' down those greaseball burgers I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why... yeah! Two words - nuclear fucking weapons, OK? Russia, Czechoslovakia, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want...they can have a democracy cakewalk right through the middle of Tienamen Square and it won't make a lick of fucking difference, because we got the bombs, OK? John Wayne's not dead--he's frozen! And when we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? You ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million times - that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Cassavetes and Lee Marvin and Sam Peckinpah and a case of fucking whisky and drive down to Texas....

.

ggunn
March 12th, 2007, 03:11 PM
Wow, another Firesign fan!

You fuels! I ought to beat your brain out! ;^)

Fulcrum
March 12th, 2007, 04:50 PM
Well, really, how can you be in two places at once...

ggunn
March 12th, 2007, 04:53 PM
Well, really, how can you be in two places at once...

There's not enough room in this dress for both of us! Take that!

PRobb
March 12th, 2007, 07:06 PM
I never knew there were so may Bozos on this bus. (my mother was a Bozoette in high school):lol: :lol:

Johnny
March 12th, 2007, 07:22 PM
I never knew there were so may Bozzios on this bus. (my mother was a Bozzioette in high school):lol: :lol:
Fixed.

http://www.favorednations.com/images/all_artists/tb_biopic.jpg

ggunn
March 12th, 2007, 07:40 PM
I never knew there were so may Bozos on this bus. (my mother was a Bozoette in high school):lol: :lol:

How about this one:

"And there's no one left to finish this dumbass play!" [thud]

or

"That's not a mountain, that's a butte."
"And a right purdy one, too."

or

"Porgy!"
"Uh...uh...uh...uh... COMING, Mother!"
"Our son Porgy, he's so good with the servants..."
"He's not your son, Fred."
"Stop torturing me, Ethyl."

or

"A square little fellow. Didn't know what milk was. Took him to the county fair and he choked to death on a piece of cheese."

or

"Welcome to side five. Repeat after me as we learn our next three words in Turkish: Bath... Towel... Border. May I see your passport, please."

or

"Here's a lifesize replica of the Taj Mahal made entirely out of oleomargarine. Let's knock on the door and see if anyone's home." [splat, splat]

and of course the immortal

"She's no fun, she fell right over."
"What's all this brouhaha?" "Brouhaha? Ha ha ha ha..."
"You can sit here in the waiting room or you can wait here in the sitting room."

Grapestomper
March 12th, 2007, 08:13 PM
How 'bout


"Not now, Mudhead, they need me at the last meeting of the felatalists club."

"I didn't know you masturbated."

"Aw creepies, Mudhead, where's your school spirit!"


or


"The accursed will be advised of the absence of his rights under the secret code of military toughness, and will act accordingly."


(Both from "Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.")

Those guys were great!
M

PRobb
March 12th, 2007, 09:17 PM
The sun is coming up!
No, no, the horizon is moving down

Antelope freeway, 1/2 mile

Look, the pyramid is opening
Which one?
The one with the ever widening hole!

Antelope freeway, 1/4 mile

Oh blinding light
Oh light that blinds
I cannot see
Look out for me

Antelope freeway, 1/16 mile

Uh, Clem

Antelope freeway, 1/32 mile

No anchovies? I spell my name Danger!

Antelope freeway, 1/64 mile

I just fade my voice out like this and cue the organist

PRobb
March 12th, 2007, 09:20 PM
How 'bout


"Not now, Mudhead, they need me at the last meeting of the felatalists club."

"I didn't know you masturbated."

"Aw creepies, Mudhead, where's your school spirit!"

We need more money, for more students for Moore science high!

EAT IT

Where's your school spirit

EAT IT RAW

Raw, raw, raw, that's the spirit!

Unfcknblvbl
March 12th, 2007, 09:31 PM
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/unreleased_jimmy_page_guitar_riff

Unreleased Jimmy Page Guitar Riff To Be Retrieved From Secret Vault To Save Rock And Roll


GWYNEDD, WALES—Calling it the planet's last, best hope for saving rock music, the Guardians of the Protectorate of Rock announced Monday that they would take the extraordinary step of unleashing a never-before-heard Jimmy Page riff, hidden for decades in a mythic, impenetrable vault.

"We who believe in the immortality of rock took a vow 30 years ago that we would never release this incredibly powerful force unless we faced a Day of Reckoning—and that day has come," said Black Sabbath guitarist Tony Iommi, one of the chosen few who helped forge the Secret Vault to Save Rock and Roll, at a press conference in the Welsh highlands. "Just look at the pop charts, and you shall know I speak the truth."

"Let's give rock and roll its fucking balls back," he added.

The Guardians said recent developments in the music world, such as the unaccountable popularity of the Dixie Chicks and Sufjan Stevens, have created a "perfect storm of lameness" from which rock might never recover. While Iommi refused to say when the vault would be opened, hard rock sources believe it will take place just prior to next month's Fall Out Boy–Honda Civic tour, which many fear will suck the remaining lifeblood from all that still rocks.
Unlocking The Code

"Citizens of Rock, we refuse to stand idly by any longer," ZZ Top founder and Protectorate High Elder Billy Gibbons said. "When a puss like James Blunt is allowed to rule the airwaves, we must respond by exposing this monster riff, and blowing minds into the stratosphere."

The Protectorate, devoted to the preservation of badass jams and blistering guitar solos, was reportedly formed in the 1970s during the rise of adult contemporary music. According to legend, the riff, played only once by Page and recorded on a special cobalt record, contains the raw power, mind-blowing skill, and unbridled passion of all the Guardians combined. Recently translated parchments from the era describe it as a soul-searing power-chord progression faintly resembling a cross between "Smoke On The Water" and "Living Loving Maid," but "basically defying all description."

It is believed that, upon the riff's release, even those who claim that the genre is dead will have no choice but to pump their fists, bang their heads, and bow down to the gods of rock for all eternity.

"May God have mercy on our souls for what we are going to set loose upon the world," proclaimed Queen guitarist Brian May, dressed in druidic robes and bathed in the rising blue smoke of a nearby fog machine. "Will it save rock or destroy mankind? We have no way of knowing—yet we have no other choice."

Members of the Protectorate were each given only partial information about the location of the vault, which they were instructed to open in unison only in the event of a total Rockopalypse. While some believed the vault was buried in Boston, Chicago, Kansas, Europe, or Asia, others claimed it could be found in the Court of the Crimson King.

However, after piecing together clues hidden in Yes album covers and Pink Floyd liner notes, rock historians now believe the riff is locked away deep beneath the Welsh countryside house known as Bron-Yr-Aur, at rock-grid coordinates SH735026. British weather satellites have also photographed an enormous cloud, shaped like a hybrid of an upside-down question mark and cross, forming above these exact coordinates.

The vault's Key, regarded as too staggering a burden for any one man to bear, was divided in two parts, with half entrusted to Eddie Van Halen and half to David Lee Roth, shortly after Roth left the rock supergroup Van Halen. The two men, who have refused to work together for 20 years, recently announced plans for a historic reunion tour.

"Before we shake Heaven and Earth with the vicious power of this riff, we of the High Council of Elders of the Guardians of the Protectorate of Rock ask you: Are you about to rock?" AC/DC guitarist Angus Young said. "If so, we salute you."

When asked to comment on the possible dangers of using the riff, Sir Paul McCartney seemed surprised.

"There's a secret vault to save rock and roll?" McCartney said. "This is the first I've heard of it."

Fulcrum
March 12th, 2007, 11:17 PM
And the sad thing is, I can actually hear Macca saying that.

ggunn
March 13th, 2007, 05:09 PM
I never knew there were so may Bozos on this bus. (my mother was a Bozoette in high school):lol: :lol:

The sun is coming up!
No, no, the horizon is moving down

<W.C. Fields voice> No, no , you're all confused, the horiZON is moving up!



No anchovies? I spell my name Danger!



No anchovies? You've got the wrong man. I spell my name DANGER.

(which connects to the phone call near the beginning of "Don't Crush That Dwarf", where Tirebiter thinks he is calling "Nick's Pizzeria", but slips a line reading the phone book - sheer genius)

I sat there listening to the stacatto patter of raindrops on my desk top, reading my name in the glass of my office door - REGNAD KCIN

PRobb
March 13th, 2007, 05:53 PM
The density and interconnectedness of the Firesign stuff is amazing. Most comedy records, you hear them a few times and you've got it. With Firesign, once you have it memorized the fun really begins. A throwaway line at the end connects to a throwaway line at the beginning, or on an earlier record, and you find ten new jokes.

Yeah, once upon a time I spent waaaay too much time listening to Firesign.:Roll eyes: :lol:

P.S.- I think the Pizza reference is the other way around. Nick Danger came before Dwarf.

At Fourth and Drucker I turned right.
At Drucker and Fourth I turned left.
I walked into a large sandstone building
Oh, my nose!

ggunn
March 13th, 2007, 08:09 PM
The density and interconnectedness of the Firesign stuff is amazing. Most comedy records, you hear them a few times and you've got it. With Firesign, once you have it memorized the fun really begins. A throwaway line at the end connects to a throwaway line at the beginning, or on an earlier record, and you find ten new jokes.

Yeah, once upon a time I spent waaaay too much time listening to Firesign.:Roll eyes: :lol:

P.S.- I think the Pizza reference is the other way around. Nick Danger came before Dwarf.


I didn't mean to imply that either was first in real time, only that George (Porgie) initiated the call from Dwarf. That Dwarf came later (which it did, you are correct) only adds to the mystique.

Have you heard any of their more recent stuff? I haven't heard anything from them in 5 or 6 years, but the one about Y2K was pretty cool. Between my brother and me, we've got it all, even the solo and duet albums. I've digitized some of what never made it to CD.

I sat my twenty-something daughter down and played Nick Danger, Ralph Spoilsport Motors, and both sides of Waiting for the Electrician for her. I had to wait until she was old enough so that all the drug references would be funny and not awkward.

So why does the porridge bird lay his egg in the air, anyway?

I read gypsy doctor

I see.... you are.... a sailor............................................ ................. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Anduin
March 14th, 2007, 06:27 PM
He didn't write it...

Ha! Well done! I've had similar experiences with other artists.

Anduin
March 14th, 2007, 06:29 PM
My wife won't get on an elevator with me anymore.:grin:

("Hey! Droolbucket's got a boner!!")


Shit, man, that qualifies you for divorce proceedings!

Anduin
March 14th, 2007, 06:30 PM
I don't own nor have I ever owned a BM record and I changed the radio if I heard a BM song.

Here's something to chew on: "BM" is standard shorthand for bowel movement.

Anduin
March 14th, 2007, 06:34 PM
When I heard that he didn't write that song, it seemed the height of hypocrisy to me; thanks for the new perspective.

Why? If you sing "I Shot the Sheriff," is it hypocritical unless you actually gunned the dude down?

Anduin
March 14th, 2007, 06:43 PM
...Not all of our stars have musical talent. Should I keep going?

No, wait, I need to catch my breath after that last revelation!

PRobb
March 14th, 2007, 08:03 PM
Why? If you sing "I Shot the Sheriff," is it hypocritical unless you actually gunned the dude down?

Of course not. But you have to admit there is a certain level of irony singing "I write the songs" when you didn't writ the song.

Johnny
March 14th, 2007, 08:20 PM
Not if he really did write the songs, because that's all the song claims...


:)

Anduin
March 15th, 2007, 09:32 PM
Of course not. But you have to admit there is a certain level of irony singing "I write the songs" when you didn't writ the song.

Sadly, I've been thinking about this.

I know, I know; shoot me now.

But it occurs to me that one of the lines is "I am myooozic..." So that indicates to people so anal that they'll analyze lyrics like these [cough cough] that the singer is taking on the persona of music as an entity. Reification and all that. Not singing as a human, as it were. (Which, I'll admit, opens up a whole other avenue for dissection.)

Grapestomper
March 15th, 2007, 10:54 PM
Here's something to chew on: "BM" is standard shorthand for bowel movement.

It's also the initials of Blue Meenie.

Coincidence? I wonder.
M

Droolbucket
March 16th, 2007, 02:49 AM
Originally Posted by Droolbucket
My wife won't get on an elevator with me anymore.

("Hey! Droolbucket's got a boner!!")

Shit, man, that qualifies you for divorce proceedings!

Yep.... especially since I have to announce it... it's not visible to the naked eye.:Uh oh:

Droolbucket

uhclem
January 11th, 2011, 02:51 AM
You guys are just a pack of cards!

--
"The system is less energetic when domains of opposite directions alternate."
-Dr. Memory

B3Nut
January 11th, 2011, 04:08 AM
If you want to be knocked for a loop, check out Manilow's "2:00 AM Paradise Cafe" record. He ignored his pop persona and did a surprisingly-good jazz record. Sarah Vaughan and Mel Torme guest...Gerry Mulligan plays sax...Mundell Lowe on gitbox...bunch of other great players.

The guy's no slouch on the pianner, either.

TP

gronk
January 11th, 2011, 04:50 AM
Hey, was the Beatles song Day Tripper?

I'm not wandering off on any more tangents to find out.

Fulcrum
January 11th, 2011, 05:03 AM
No, it wasn't. Day Tripper doesn't do the BM modulation.

Magicchord had it right a few pages ago: And I Love Her.

gronk
January 11th, 2011, 06:51 AM
Cheers Fulcrum.

bunnerabb
January 11th, 2011, 07:37 AM
I always thought that "Looks Like We Made It" was a good day's work.

PRobb
January 12th, 2011, 04:05 AM
Screw Manilow.
Let's have more Firesign!!!!!!:grin:

Dave Perry
January 12th, 2011, 05:01 AM
Or Firefall.

ManRoom Studio
January 13th, 2011, 07:10 PM
Can someone please explain to me how it is that the most successful pop stars are invariably the ones that everybody hates?

The ManRoom

nobby
January 14th, 2011, 03:44 AM
Finally she started running out of steam just as the previously mentioned menu items started having their typical gaseous effect.

So she ran out of steam but she didn't run out of gas?

They took my song and changed the lyrics, completely ruining it Evil!

The original lyrics:


I Write the Songs (I Write the Songs)


I’ve been alive like forfuckingever,

Writing songs that are so far from clever

People beg me to stop but I say, "Never!"

I write the songs I write the songs



I write the songs that make the aesthetes cry

That make construction workers spit in my eye

The easy money is the reason why

I write the songs I write the songs



I write the songs that are such total drivel

Songs that can make ol' nobby's scrotum shrivel

The kind of songs that keep Las Vegas evil

I write the songs I write the songs