View Full Version : From The Wire

March 20th, 2007, 09:09 AM
I work for a small town radio station and everyday I get a laugh or a wow off of something off the Associated Press wire service. So I've decided to share some of the stories I see on the AP wire ...Here's todays:

BANGOR TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) _ Marylou Morin has rats in her home. But they're not vermin, they're her pets. The Michigan preschool teacher is known as the ``rat lady.'' She's been keeping domesticated rats as pets for about eight years, ever since her daughter brought home a lab rat named ``Wicket'' from Western Michigan University. Morin has had as many as 13 rats, but now has three. She lets the animals crawl all over her and says they help relieve the stress of the daily rat race. She has a dog, too, a miniature schnauzer. She says the dog treats the rats like they were her puppies.

I bet "Ben" was her favorite movie....:D

March 20th, 2007, 03:16 PM
The station I work at used to have AP wire service, and every once in a while a funny story would come over.

One that I remember well took place in Camden, NJ. A bunch of dopeheads were sitting in a car with the windows rolled up (it was winter), and they're snorting fumes from cans of spray paint. After they're sufficiently high, one of these nimrods decides he wants a cigarette.

(You can see where this is headed, can't you?)

The story reported that three of the "youths" were soon released from the local hospital after being treated for burns.

I wish I had saved the hard copy.


March 21st, 2007, 05:40 AM
From the AP wire 3/21:

VIENNA, Va. (AP) _ Bruce Hornsby has a tradition of having the front of his stage covered in paper before he performs. That's because fans write down their requests and leave them on the stage, and Hornsby picks them up. He says it began in 1990 in Boston after their opening act, Cowboy Junkies, called in sick. He went out and apologized and told the audience he'd do requests and keep the gig loose. He and his band liked it so much they've kept it up ever since. Hornsby says they used to honor the bizarre requests if it created a good segue, like going from his song ``Rainbow's Cadillac'' into the disco song ``Le Freak.'' He admits they don't do that kind of weird stuff so much any more because they're ``a little too old'' and they only do it if they feel like it. Hornsby is releasing a new album with bluegrass musician Ricky Skaggs called ``Ricky Skaggs and Bruce Hornsby.''

Wonder if he knows "Paperback Writer" ?....:grin:

March 22nd, 2007, 07:07 AM
From the AP wire 3/22

A town in the area known as the Dutch Bible Belt has ordered a bunch of metal bands to watch their mouths or else. The Elsrock festival caused an uproar last year when it was held outside the small and religious town of Rijssen , 75 miles east of Amsterdam. Two religious political parties complained, and the churches were pacified only when the mayor promised the show can go on as long as the bands don't curse and ``the honor of God's name is not besmirched.'' Should any of the bands not go along with that, the mayor will ask the district attorney to prosecute. The concert is set for August 25th, and about 12-hundred people are expected to attend. One of the concert's organizers says the bands invited are not known for Satanic lyrics. The lineup so far calls for several Dutch bands and one Brazilian band.

Maybe next year they shoud book The Wiggles.....:D

March 22nd, 2007, 05:12 PM
From the AP wire 3/22

Maybe next year they shoud book The Wiggles.....:D

Now I see how Jethro Tull got metal band of the year....

March 23rd, 2007, 08:31 AM
From the AP wire 3/23:

Among the important issues the Tennessee legislature has been considering lately is whether Justin Timberlake is too sexy for Tennessee. State Senator Ophelia Ford had introduced a resolution to honor Timberlake, who's from Tennessee. She wanted to honor him for his successful music career and for service to the state. However, State Senator Raymond Finney removed it from a list of resolutions, even though it would have probably gotten unanimous support. He says it's something he doesn't want his name on. Republican senators took issue with calling attention to Timberlake's album ``FutureSex/LoveSounds'' and to songs like ``SexyBack'' and ``Rock Your Body.'' They also couldn't help but notice Timberlake was the one who caused Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction. Timberlake's people did not return calls for comment.

Maybe if he should have covered "Rocky Top"..........:grin:

March 26th, 2007, 09:01 AM
From the AP wire 3/26

WASHINGTON (AP) _ D-C is looking for a new slogan. Washington tourism officials are spending 150-thousand dollars to create a new catchphrase for the nation's capital. You know, something like Las Vegas' slogan: ``What happens here, stays here.'' Virginia uses,``Virginia is for Lovers.'' Not many people are familiar with D-C's current slogans ``Celebrate and Discover'' and ``Washington D-C: The American Experience.'' It's unlikely the new slogan will have anything to do with interns or taxes.

How about "Come Bask In The Hot Air" ?

March 27th, 2007, 10:50 AM
From the Wire, 3/27

Seamus McKinney will be back at the Teton County Fair this summer -- but with his clothes. He's been sentenced to 40 hours of service at this year's fair, after being busted for streaking at last year's event. Streaking has become an unofficial tradition at the demolition derby, the last event at the annual Wyoming fair. But officials had promised a crackdown, saying streakers would face stiff penalties. McKinney pled guilty to one misdemeanor charge in a deal with prosecutors. In addition to the community service, McKinney will serve a year of supervised probation.

We had a streaker at our church....They caught him by the organ.....:D

March 28th, 2007, 10:15 AM
From the wire 3/28:

A TV news crew is making some news. The heat from a T-V camera light set off a fire sprinkler at the Saginaw Township, Michigan, police station. ABC affiliate WJRT was interviewing an officer, when the sprinkler head popped. Now, Township Manager Ron Lee says he'll likely file an
insurance claim against the Flint television crew. Officials estimate 400 gallons of water poured into the first-floor conference room and offices before the fire department was able to shut it off. Damage costs haven't been determined.

Some poor lighting smuck is out of a job.........:grin:

March 30th, 2007, 09:11 AM
From the wire 3/30:

After ten days in jail he turned out to be a she. Jailers in Chattanooga, Tennessee, discovered 42-year-old Alexander David Cross was actually Elaine Ann Cross when the prisoner was ordered to take a shower. Cross had been jailed on a statutory rape charge for a relationship with a 15-year-old girl. Prosecutors say the teen wanted to marry Cross when she thought Cross was a man. After Cross' gender was discovered, she was allowed to plead guilty in a deal with prosecutors. Cross won't serve any jail time, as long as she stays out of trouble for six months. Cross must also register as a convicted sex offender and stay away from the teen-aged girl.


March 30th, 2007, 12:49 PM
Maybe if he should have covered "Rocky Top"..........:grin:

Well, why not? It seems he uncovered it already.

BTW I caught part of the Hornsby/Skaggs gig on CMT Crossroads. Skaggs is still jaw-droppingly good, and Brooooce is, well, Brooooce.