Hey Bobbie

[jerryskid]

same band, different drummer...Spagetty.....Critique anything but the mix...(not mine)....even my shitty background singing.....


enjoy

[dikledoux]

"killing yourself and taking everbody with you..."

Great line. Power-pop meets CCR. That being said, there are a couple parts in there that sound a LOT like CCR doing Rolling on the River - the rythm guit before the vocals come in is the culprit. If the bass part takes that in a different direction, then disregard that comment - my laptop isn't giving me the whole story.

It's got to tighten up a good bit and keep the energy level (especially after the bridge thing) to work as well as it could, but I think there's a lot of potential there.

dik

[archtop]

I agree with dik, only I think the culprit is more the lead gtr, playing the exact "take me to the river" riff.

I love the bass voice calling the engineer a "Dick" at the top.

cool vox harmonies.
No shortage of snare.
I think the hand claps are also a little hot.

The big dirt guitar in the chorus makes me think of clownfucking. K Y and a big red nose. NTTAWWT.

[Mojo]

A couple of pet peeves here...

Bass is an instrument unto itself. No other instrument can steer the bus quite like a well written/executed bass line. That said, my impression with his hanging that tight with the kick at the beginning of each phrase, whether it be verse or chorus, tends to be somewhat monotonous. I tend to only hint at what the drummer plays on the kick and make my own complimentary part off that.

When the bass line goes contrary to the chord progression, it should be leading to something explicit that lends a sence of direction toward a resolution. The second half of the verse makes me want to twitch in my chair. Sounds like he's bouncing between the root and third of the I against the V chord. During the solo, he just hangs on the root of the I against the V. Problem is, there is no A or C# in an E chord To my ear, it sounds like a mistake.

I agree with Dik on the intro guitar line... a bit too close to Proud Mary for comfort, but it fits well and the whole song has that awesome CCR vibe. Love the handclaps. :nodding smiley:



Just 2¢ worth from a crotchety old bassist. :Wink:

[jerryskid]

The "Proud Mary" licks at the beginning was a nod and a wink to CCR , cause we borrowed the intro......:Wink:

[volthause]

Fun song! A little sloppy, but hey, that's what makes it fun!

The drums seem more roomy at times than the rest of the instruments to me. Other than that, I have no more original content to add to this post.

[st robert]

first, let me say that i am a fucking nobody in the biz...


it pains me to say this, (but it pained me even worse to suffer through the timing slop, pitchiness, lack of originality, lack of feel in the retracked guitars and the narcoleptic bass line that does more damage than good), i quite liked it...















NOT.

sorry, i just saw Borat.

no, really, i found it trite and forgettable and wonder what is to be gain by collaboration when the parties involved have disdain for what the others are playing?

this is the result.

it is so obvious that no one tracked in the same room, much less cared about the other parts it's almost funny. there's no cohesion or sense of solidarity here. fire the producer. then sterilize him or her with a rusty coat hanger.

please.

rob

[Goes211]

what is to be gain by collaboration when the parties involved have disdain for what the others are playing?


You've never played in real bands, have you ?
Internet collabs are like real life. Musicians are the same.
You don't gain chops or loose sloppiness because it's going through the net.
You do avoid stains on the carpet and ciggie butts on the floor.


this is the result.

it is so obvious that no one tracked in the same room, much less cared about the other parts it's almost funny. there's no cohesion or sense of solidarity here.


I beg to differ. I could see this being done by a group of people enjoying themselves and only caring about having fun.


fire the producer. then sterilize him or her with a rusty coat hanger.

please.

rob


Bad day at the office ? :lol:


Yeah, it was kinda sloppy. But it has vibe, and I'll take vibe over tight any day.
:Coolio:

[jerryskid]

Thanx Goes for having my back ....I'll have you know Mr. Robert that it
was tracked in the same room....The only guitar overdub is the lead solo....and it was a quick get in get out one take deal for a recording class at a local recording school....the producer pretty much was me and I ain't firing myself...It's a bouncy little tune that we thought we'd have a little fun with........


First, let me say that i am a fucking nobody in the biz...


and thank God for that, cause you'd be starving....sorry you didn't like it, but hey, not everybody has taste in music.......:very happy:

[st robert]

ah, i think maybe i don't understand the nature of how this all works.

a song is posted for critique.

it is critiqued.

the poster's pals go after the critiqueuer and call him a punk bitch for not liking what he heard.

i don't know why i would defend myself here, but i will say that i have played in real bands for over 20 years and know when something just doesn't groove and gel.

is anyone arguing that, here? that it doesn't groove? no, goes is making excuses for it and jerryskid has taken to telling me i'm full of shit because i didn't like his little tune.

er, whatever.

the song doesn't work. it has identity issues with it's c part and the distortion bombast bad tone thing there.

here's something positive: the hook is catchy.

so there!

i now realize that a lot of effort went into it and it is like your newborn child, but lemme tell ya, the kid's kinda funny looking.

love,
rob

[Goes211]

Hey Robert...

Listen, it's not about the critique. It's cool that you don't like it.
It's about trying not to go for the jugular immediately.

Sure, thick skin is required. But then make it funny.
(I'll give you the 'sterilize the producer' part as funny in a Slipperman way. :lol: )

Besides, for all your experience you were wrong about the song not being tracked in the same room. And what grooves for me could be painful to your ears. Subjective. Which is why I'm thinking you could make the same point without being instantaneously aggressive. People tend to listen better.
:Coolio:

Carry on.

[st robert]

point taken sir. sorry about the mess. too sarcastic. got it.
i'm a little bound up because the cat just shit in the sink again.

rob

[jerryskid]

point taken sir. sorry about the mess. too sarcastic. got it.
i'm a little bound up because the cat just shit in the sink again.

rob

No big deal dude..you just came at me a little harsh....I know the song aint perfect....it's ok that you don't like it....but if you read the other posts, they're not exactly raves.....it's all in how you say it.......peace...

[dnafe]

Not to toatally defend Robert here but in another critique forum he was known to come off a little harsh at times but generally his comments (when softened a tad) were pretty dead on.

Like someone else we all know and love.

:very happy:

By the way...I thought the tune was nice, light and fun....and that too as alright

[st robert]

all right, fuck it.

just to clear the air, i came off wrong. i have no intention of causing any more poo than due. let me rephrase my critique thusly:

i hated it.

derivative slop.

nice hook.

get stuffed.

love,
rob

[jerryskid]

:lol: :lol:

[Goes211]

all right, fuck it.

just to clear the air, i came off wrong. i have no intention of causing any more poo than due. let me rephrase my critique thusly:

i hated it.

derivative slop.

nice hook.

get stuffed.

love,
rob

That's the spirit. :lol: