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jerryskid
May 2nd, 2007, 06:34 AM
These are the type of questions that run through my head as I try to go to sleep:


When blind people do acid, do they see things?

How do people without thumbs hitch-hike ?

If women’s breasts were on their backs wouldn’t men slow dance more?

If a tree falls in the middle of the forest and no one’s around, will the squirrels survive?

Why is there Braille on drive thru ATMs ?

If knees bent the other way, what would bicycles look like?

If you have 30 seconds of air time to fill, is it okay to play “The Minute Waltz” in cut time ?


Should I carry around a lugnut?

In an alternate universe, is someone else thinking of these for me ?

Maybe I’ve been to too many Deadshows……

Tim Halligan
May 2nd, 2007, 08:49 AM
I find that alcohol pretty much stops such thinking at bed time.

:lol:

You might want to look into that... :D

Cheers,
Tim

Johnny
May 3rd, 2007, 04:54 AM
I knew a girl with no thumbs. It's a congenital birth defect. She drove herself though.

PRobb
May 3rd, 2007, 05:51 AM
Why do they call them apartments when they're all stuck together?

Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

What's another word for thesaurus?

If you bought dehydrated water, what would you add?

Does anyone else remember Steven Wright?

jerryskid
May 3rd, 2007, 05:56 AM
Does anyone else remember Steven Wright?


My favorite line:

"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time"

:lol:

Johnny
May 3rd, 2007, 06:27 AM
"I bought batteries, but they weren't included, so
I had to buy them again."

PRobb
May 3rd, 2007, 01:29 PM
My house is on a one way dead end street. I don't know how to get there.


My neighbor has a circular driveway. He can't leave.

SaltyDog
May 3rd, 2007, 02:21 PM
I used to work at a factory that made fire-hydrants. I had to quit because I could never find a place to park.

Fulcrum
May 3rd, 2007, 03:44 PM
If a man speaks and there isn't a woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

frnjplayer
May 3rd, 2007, 04:10 PM
I took up astronomy as a hobby so I put in a skylight.
The people in the apartment upstairs are furious.

archtop
May 3rd, 2007, 04:47 PM
I'm regular like clockwork, 6:30 everyday.


problem is I don't get outta bed till 7:00

ggunn
May 3rd, 2007, 06:48 PM
Why do they call them apartments when they're all stuck together?

Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

What's another word for thesaurus?

If you bought dehydrated water, what would you add?

Does anyone else remember Steven Wright?

What's the mnemonic to remind you how to spell "mnemonic"?

(that one's mine)

ggunn
May 3rd, 2007, 06:57 PM
I knew a girl with no thumbs. It's a congenital birth defect. She drove herself though.

I knew a bass player who had no thumbs. His arms were like sticks, too, and only about 2/3 as long as mine. He played by hooking the little finger of his left hand behind the neck of his bass with his hand going over the top. He was actually pretty good; considering the disability he had to overcome, he was phenomenal.