Smileyblue
December 3rd, 2006, 01:25 AM
A newspaper in Australia had a silly signs contest and some of their readers sent in these little gems. It kind of reminded me of some of the stupid ones I have seen on my travels around the world. I will post some later but in the meantime:
We may have a winner in the Silly Signs of 2006 Stakes. Sure, we have a few weeks to run, but really, can anyone top this, from Kirribilli's Warren Menteith? We doubt it: "'Use taps to adjust water pressure' - men's showers, North Sydney pool." It has it all - elegance, simplicity, the bleeding-bloody-obvious factor, and above all, someone in authority must have looked at it and said: "Yeah, that's OK …"
"The website of a restaurant in Parramatta invites diners to 'immerse yourself in one of our cocktails'," writes intrigued tippler Fran Kirby, "and says their wine list will 'satisfy even the most disconcerted connoisseur'." Fran's up for it: "Bring me a bath of martini, and I'll be offput by your shiraz!"
"On the wall outside the chemistry labs at my high school was a fire extinguisher," recalls Paul Johnson, of Newtown. "The list of instructions for use, prominently displayed on a plaque, began: '1. Carry to scene of fire'.
"The silliest sign I ever saw?" writes Bev Brill, of Rose Bay in Tasmania. "It offered: 'Ears pierced while you wait.' I'd love to see it done any other way."
Ian Davis reports that "in the USA they once thought about metric conversion, and some of the signs are still there. Outside Dayton, Ohio, is a sign that reads: 'Metric distance signs next 30 miles'
"In a pub in Birmingham, England, there's a sign which reads: 'Please do not attempt to drown your sorrows. They just take swimming lessons.' Underneath, someone had added '… from the Aussie barman. And he's good!'
"Has anybody already mentioned the sign for the roadhouse at Wallabadah that forever advertised (does it still do so?) 'distillate turkey sandwiches'?" asks Bill Tarrant, of Tempe. They have now.
The sign saga refuses to die. "How about a 'least silly sign'?" suggests Ray Wurlord, of North Sydney. "Passing a bar in Boise, Idaho, I noticed this sign out front: 'If you drink to forget, please pay first'."Eileen Groenewegen, also of North Sydney, wants us to ponder a sign so silly that it trumps the "Use taps to adjust water pressure" at North Sydney pool (Column 8, Saturday). (We wonder if the folks north of the bridge are coming completely unglued.) "Here's yet another silly sign on the lower North Shore, on the front door of a cosmetic surgery. It reads: 'Open door to enter'," Eileen swears. You'd have to think that this was unbeatable - but is it?
"Years ago, when he worked on the waterfront, says Peter Chinn, of Springwood, there was a sign on the back door of the Customs office: "Way Out - Way In from other side'."
Sam Dutt of Newcastle may have aced the lot of us with this silly sign, but there will certainly be doubts as to its provenance. "Many years ago a friend of mine saw a sign at an airport in northern India," he writes. "It read 'If you see a fire, shout Fire! Fire!"
Has anyone else encountered some of these genius signs?:grin:
We may have a winner in the Silly Signs of 2006 Stakes. Sure, we have a few weeks to run, but really, can anyone top this, from Kirribilli's Warren Menteith? We doubt it: "'Use taps to adjust water pressure' - men's showers, North Sydney pool." It has it all - elegance, simplicity, the bleeding-bloody-obvious factor, and above all, someone in authority must have looked at it and said: "Yeah, that's OK …"
"The website of a restaurant in Parramatta invites diners to 'immerse yourself in one of our cocktails'," writes intrigued tippler Fran Kirby, "and says their wine list will 'satisfy even the most disconcerted connoisseur'." Fran's up for it: "Bring me a bath of martini, and I'll be offput by your shiraz!"
"On the wall outside the chemistry labs at my high school was a fire extinguisher," recalls Paul Johnson, of Newtown. "The list of instructions for use, prominently displayed on a plaque, began: '1. Carry to scene of fire'.
"The silliest sign I ever saw?" writes Bev Brill, of Rose Bay in Tasmania. "It offered: 'Ears pierced while you wait.' I'd love to see it done any other way."
Ian Davis reports that "in the USA they once thought about metric conversion, and some of the signs are still there. Outside Dayton, Ohio, is a sign that reads: 'Metric distance signs next 30 miles'
"In a pub in Birmingham, England, there's a sign which reads: 'Please do not attempt to drown your sorrows. They just take swimming lessons.' Underneath, someone had added '… from the Aussie barman. And he's good!'
"Has anybody already mentioned the sign for the roadhouse at Wallabadah that forever advertised (does it still do so?) 'distillate turkey sandwiches'?" asks Bill Tarrant, of Tempe. They have now.
The sign saga refuses to die. "How about a 'least silly sign'?" suggests Ray Wurlord, of North Sydney. "Passing a bar in Boise, Idaho, I noticed this sign out front: 'If you drink to forget, please pay first'."Eileen Groenewegen, also of North Sydney, wants us to ponder a sign so silly that it trumps the "Use taps to adjust water pressure" at North Sydney pool (Column 8, Saturday). (We wonder if the folks north of the bridge are coming completely unglued.) "Here's yet another silly sign on the lower North Shore, on the front door of a cosmetic surgery. It reads: 'Open door to enter'," Eileen swears. You'd have to think that this was unbeatable - but is it?
"Years ago, when he worked on the waterfront, says Peter Chinn, of Springwood, there was a sign on the back door of the Customs office: "Way Out - Way In from other side'."
Sam Dutt of Newcastle may have aced the lot of us with this silly sign, but there will certainly be doubts as to its provenance. "Many years ago a friend of mine saw a sign at an airport in northern India," he writes. "It read 'If you see a fire, shout Fire! Fire!"
Has anyone else encountered some of these genius signs?:grin: