Hardhats and earmuffs

[Scratchy Potts]

OK lads just something Im working on and very LoFi
but Im sure you guys can give me some pointers as to
what i can do to better this,it`s still in it`s infancy at the mo
guide vox..with loadsa bleed,lyrics not finiished yet either
but i thought what the hell,once I have a new arse
I may see things clearer....:icon_eek:

Tanks in advance Scratchy

[ajcamlet]

disclaimer: Im a hack.

now:

the first thing that strikes me a little odd is the auxilliary percussion stuff. Its not gluing the rhythm section together. Seems like the drums and the bass are swinging a bit, but the percussion many times is not and is playing more straight 8ths and 16ths. this can create a weird rub. for me anyway. I think the tune is cool and catchy- do you really need that percussion stuff?

i think you could get a lot more milage out off just the bass & drums.

but anyway- im a hack. :D

alan

[Scratchy Potts]

disclaimer: Im a hack.

now:

the first thing that strikes me a little odd is the auxilliary percussion stuff. Its not gluing the rhythm section together. Seems like the drums and the bass are swinging a bit, but the percussion many times is not and is playing more straight 8ths and 16ths. this can create a weird rub. for me anyway. I think the tune is cool and catchy- do you really need that percussion stuff?

i think you could get a lot more milage out off just the bass & drums.

but anyway- im a hack. :D

alan

:lol: Me too mate!..Im black Jack Hack of Hack city

thanks for the reply...no as things stand this is just something of a notepad.just stuff i threw in to the melting pot
and the very reason I posted it here
do you mean the double loop or the percs!, ie shaker &Tamb etc??

[seagate]

Disclaimer: I'm a hack too...

The percussion bits don't do it for me either, it's distrating from me from the vocals. With the groove provided by the drums and bass you really don't need it...

Vox could go up a bit, they get lost a little at times...


Great tune though!

http://www.msc.id.au/private/tmp/applaudit.gif

[Scratchy Potts]

Ok!! Alan an Seagate ..took on board ya comments
and i`ve bin a messin...took out all the percs
and it shows me that the Snare on the loop sounds kinda top heavy and fizzy...:Confused: ..but I see what you mean!,,:Thumbsup:
some times you can`t see the wood from the trees...:Roll eyes:

gonna work on this a bit and see if I rectify it
thanks again for your views!...Scratchy,,,:Thumbsup:

[jimmy v]

I really like this.Perhaps what struck me first was that I dont immediatly recognise any single or obvious influence.I has some identity of its own.................I agree with the percussion comments by others.Perhaps you could replace some of it with a percussive guitar part that incorporated some 8th and 16 notes. chucka .....chucka ......chucka chucka chucka. Its hinted at a bit in your tracks as the song wears on.I would explore that.After several listens Ilike it more.....Hey! that might be SHELF LIFE.................This hook gotsa barb......................However................. ..The outtro really sounds alot like Eyes of a stranger.

[Scratchy Potts]

I really like this.Perhaps what struck me first was that I dont immediatly recognise any single or obvious influence.I has some identity of its own.................I agree with the percussion comments by others.Perhaps you could replace some of it with a percussive guitar part that incorporated some 8th and 16 notes. chucka .....chucka ......chucka chucka chucka. Its hinted at a bit in your tracks as the song wears on.I would explore that.After several listens Ilike it more.....Hey! that might be SHELF LIFE.................This hook gotsa barb......................However................. ..The outtro really sounds alot like Eyes of a stranger.

Cheers Jim,looks like the perc`s have to go,i like the idea
of the guitar gonna try that..:Thumbsup:

:Confused: ,,,Eyes of a stranger,,,never heard this mate
who irecorded it?

[jimmy v]

:Confused: ,,,Eyes of a stranger,,,never heard this mate
who irecorded it?

He he,sometimes I forget that the world doesn't end at my driveway........Eyes of a stanger by Payolas,a Canadian group that did real well in the late 80's early 90's.It's not exactly the same but very like.(just the outtro)............I'm listenin again...............I like the song more..diggin the vox.............Some of that keyboard stuff seems......uuuuuhh.....eeeeeaaa.....ugly...shit... .dont hit me .............fuck............I did it again..........

[Aardvark]

He he,sometimes I forget that the world doesn't end at my driveway........Eyes of a stanger by Payolas,a Canadian group that did real well in the late 80's early 90's.It's not exactly the same but very like.(just the outtro)............I'm listenin again...............I like the song more..diggin the vox.............Some of that keyboard stuff seems......uuuuuhh.....eeeeeaaa.....ugly...shit... .dont hit me .............fuck............I did it again..........

One of the two main members was a certain Bob Rock, the other being Paul Hyde, the affectated vocalist. Eyes of a Stranger is a great track...Dirty Water was another good one from those guys.



Cheers,
Aardvark

[jimmy v]

One of the two main members was a certain Bob Rock, the other being Paul Hyde, the affectated vocalist. Eyes of a Stranger is a great track...Dirty Water was another good one from those guys.



Cheers,
Aardvark

Yep,then Bob and Paul recorded as Rock and Hyde,with some sucsess.I believe Bob was doing AE work with Bruce Fairburn at that time. Seems to me Bob Rock sorta ,I dont know,had a Huge influence on guitar rock/hard rock/80's hair metal . particularly drum sounds.I've heard some stories bout him convimcing Bruce to track drums in the loading dock.You know,where they unload the trucks. Big Cannon drums....... Didnt Bob produce some metal band?

[aframe9999]

I'm in graduate school at Hack University with a C- average, so use anything I have with extreme cauiton.....

there's a definate, albeit slight swing to the bass & drums. So i would think that the rest of the percussion should swing too. But a lot less than what you got now. There's also a mild reggae/island feel too.

I Love the chicka chicka guitar on the '&s' in the chorus. I think you could exploit that more throuout the song. more of those in the verse and even more dramtic in the chorus. it goes away after the first line of of the chorus...?? yeah.... keep that in there for the song...

Now, for the chorus.... 'sinking in a cellophane sea' the melody descends now.. Like you're sinking, right? how about for the last line of the chorus, that line ascends? build a big climax before the release back the verse....

so... whaddaya think???? I dunno.... i'm out in left field without a glove.....

AF

[mousdrvr]

God would someone PLEASE put up something that sucks, so I can stop all this obsequious ball licking!


Seriously Scratchy I love this. I think it's a really great tune. The thing that kills me the most, other than the tune itself is the vocal delivery, I had to listen to it 3 times before I could remember to actually listen to the singing critically. For real, It pulled me in the first time and then I said "ok let's see what this cat is really doing" and I just couldn't quite get there, it sucked me back into the tune. That's just a great thing. I really like that cat's timbre too. but yeah maybe a few more db of him would be good.


I do have some ideas about the groove but they may be obviated by the removal of the perc, so I'll shut up about that for now.



respect,


mous

[Scratchy Potts]

Well fist and Formost!!!!!!
You guys have completly fuckin floored me ..:icon_eek:
I dont know what to say?

I posted this here just after listening to In My Head
and to be truthful.If I wasnt pissed!!.(drunk) theres no way I would of posted it,like most peolpe after hearing said song
I felt like ..:Cry: "shoot me please"!!

I would just like to give you lads mucho respect,thanks so much
for your time listening to this,it`s so fuckin low fi,I thought
no one would give it the time of day!
once again thanks....:Thumbsup:

SOoooo! took out some perc`s hope there the right ones?
and layed down a guitar trk,takes me a while im not a guitarist
thanks for the sugestion JIM
bumped the Vox up 2db
Oh! by the way Jim there was a bad chord on the organ
at the end of the chorus\bridge..fixed it,is this wat you refered to?

Mousdrv
glad you like the vocal,i recorded it with the monitors on sm58
just to guide me with the rest of the trk,tons of bleed
I wanna sing it again in solation but after comments made by
yourself and others about the delivery,Im worried I dont get the same type of feel!

Aframe...so... whaddaya think???? I dunno.... i'm out in left field
Not sure wat ya meen mate,can you expand on this a little?

OK so here`s the altered mix

[jimmy v]

I had to listen to it 3 times before I could remember to actually listen to the singing critically. For real, It pulled me in the first time and then I said "ok let's see what this cat is really doing" and I just couldn't quite get there, it sucked me back into the tune.





respect,


mous This is what I difine as shelf life. A barb in the hook.

[aframe9999]

I'm sayin the percussion was outta whack. But you fixed it. and it sound much better.

I'm sayin that the verse might sound good with the 'chicka chicka' guitar playing on the 'ANDS', like it does in the chorus.

And i'm sayin this is a really cool song that has a natural attraction for me. dig it very much...

And finally, the left field thing means that I don't really know what the hell i'm talkin about so proceed accordingly...

AF

[dikledoux]

Strong tune. Great singing - genuine, urgent, relaxed. I like that you get a reggae feel without the standard guitar approach. Also like the bridge thing or whatever you'd call the part where you turnaround back to the verses. Well crafted.

The effects are mixed oddly but like you said, it's somewhat lo-fi.

dik

[mousdrvr]

Scratchy,


Ok now that I'm Loving on the vocal track, the tamborine in the chorus is starting to get in the way for me. It's still jumping on yer fine vox. Now feel free to tell me to piss off, but I still want another 2db of you and at least 3db less of the tamborine.

Actually what I would do ( and Imma H.U alum as well so take it with a grain ) is take the tamborine down so that it's just barely there in the verses and then bump it a few db when you get the chorus for lift. PLEASE don't be shy about it. That vocal really is killer why hide it?


-mous

[Goes211]

There's a lot that can be bettered, but the strong thing is that it has its own character and for that alone you deserve kudos.
Lots of potential here.

Oh, and am I wrong in thinking your song should be called
CellOphane sea and not CellAphane sea ?

[seagate]

Is it just me or do the drums sound a little muffled in this mix compared to the first???

With less percussion the groove is doing it for me now! :Thumbsup:

Love it!

[Scratchy Potts]

mousdrvr

ok mate see wat ya mean,Im working in a alcove in a poxy little bedroom,so some of the top end stuff kinda gets lost
an I dont have golden ears........lead more like..:Roll eyes:

Goes211
CellOphane sea and not CellAphane sea ?

:Redface: ya right Im a wee bit duckslickhick so spullin aint my strag punt!..:Thumbsup:
There's a lot that can be bettered

Im all ears mate!...would love any input,if you dont mind mate

seagate

I did roll some top off the loop,as I said the snare sounded sorta fizzy to me when I droped the percs out
could be this fuckin Alcove!!!..:Confused:

did anyone else here this??

as to the vocal,thanks for the comments guys ,,Im :Redface:
I hate the sound of my own voice so tend to make the usual
mistake of mixing it way down,it`s hard to judge it
but I still find it hard to nudge that fuckin fader up.

peas and lurve!.....Scratchy

[Scratchy Potts]

OK!! tried to put everything that you guys have pointed out
in there rightful place,got rid of the Tambs
borought up the vox,and remixed using some automation
a little comp here and there and some eq`ing
hope I aint trashed it??...:Roll eyes:

please tell me your opinions!!

Tanks in advance.........Scratchy.

[mousdrvr]

Scratchy,

You are now one of my favorite singers. I have no further comment.

-mous

[Scratchy Potts]

Scratchy,

You are now one of my favorite singers. I have no further comment.

-mous

:Redface: "Fanks"!!!


:Confused: but what about the mix mate??
im standing here beside my self in antisipation
could do with a helping hand here mate!!....:Thumbsup: