Nothing Left To Hide

[Dazed]

Hey all :). Found my way over thanks to Malice. Here is the last track we did called Nothing Left To Hide (http://www.guitaristworks.com/bands/10/audio.php).

Roast away :).

<off to grab some tinfoil so I do not burn>

[Mixerman]

Sonically, it all sounds very unnatural to me.

On a song level, there are problems. A great song pushes the listener forward through the song. There are several ways to do this.

In your song, you have a double verse, and a short B-section before the chorus, and then some sort of post chorus which I thought was a Bridge the first time I heard it. Of course, when I heard it again, it's no longer a Bridge. First of all, your verse is too long. Nothing changes in it, and the listener is likely to get bored. If it's imperative to keep the verse this long, then there are production and arrangement techniques you can do to keep the section fresh, but know you are then manufacturing forward movement. A great song works with one instrument and one singer.

the B-section is your chance to come out of the verse and push the listener forward. Normally, you would accellerate the rhythmic structure of the melody, (i.e. sing twice as many lines in the same amount of space as on the verse) and/or you would accellerate the rhyme structure (i.e. if the verse rhyme structre is ABAB, you would accellerate the rhyme structure by changing it to AABB.) Another technique used to push the listener forward is to accelerate the rythm of the instrumentation. In your song, you have actually DEcellerated the B section, bringing the listener to a screeching halt.

In the chorus, some of the best songs use a completely new rhyme structure. You used the identical rhyme, with the "I" rhyme which is all over the verses. It is also common in well written songs to use notes that have not mae an appearance in the song, and to, in fact, use higher melody notes. Your notes seem to be in the same range as the verse and the B-section, offering the listener little to no change, and thus little to no pay-off.

There are many techniques used in writing and production to push the listener forward. You need to analyze what you think are great songs, and try to understand what it is about them that MAKES them great. Analyze the melody, the rhyme structure, the form structure, and the rhythmic structure. Imitate these.

Mixerman

[ajcamlet]

My first impression is that the drummer isn't really helping you out with delivering the arrangement. i.e he is not giving you convincing transitions (e.g ok, here comes the chorus, and im' going to play something slightly different [or drastically different] than what i'm doing right now). this sort of makes the arrangement a little flat for me.

ace

[emtou2u]

First, from the message standpoint - i like the song and the message it brings...

that said, it 'feels' like the singer would be standing behind the instruments...literally...

it feels like the song is put together to showcase the guitarist and not the vocalist - either that or the vox just can't break free. it also doesn't feel like there is any emotion at all in the song...at all...i thought maybe they were breaking through around 2:57 on the first listen - but even going back a couple more times it just wasn't there.

all this could be symptomatic of what the mixerman has already said, but i would add performance of the vocals to his list as something to zap some energy into into.

my .01 - humbly submitted.


(i'd like to believe the singer - but i can't right now)

[Dazed]

Mixerman you bring up some very valid points as do the rest of you guys.

As always I appreciate the feedback and pointing me in a better direction.

Dazed

[dnafe]

Hey Dazed

This song sounds familiar...did you post it at The Marsh?

Don

[Dazed]

Hey Dazed

This song sounds familiar...did you post it at The Marsh?

Don


yes. then I came over here. that placed seems to have died or they really hate the music I post. Probably the latter :)