Bands: What would YOU put in your rider?

[clicktrack]

After having a good chuckle at seeing the Iggy Pop Rider again in this (http://womb.mixerman.net/showthread.php?t=800) thread, I got to thinking... "What would I like to see in my rider if I were a headliner"

So I'll turn this around to the working bands out there
a) If you were big enough, what would you put into your rider, or
b) If you already ARE big enough, what do you currently HAVE in your rider


Any takers?

[dnafe]

Duh! No brown M&M's

[Droolbucket]

A functioning door on the shitter.

Droolbucket

[pounce]

you mean the weird personal part of the rider with green m&m's, candles, etc.? that part can get pretty funny. i remember one gothic band that had new socks on their rider as well as postcards with stamps from wherever they were. that seemed cool. meal provisions is a big thing. like the iggie pop rider, the ones that aren't specific enough about meals get hosed real bad. so you start getting real specific food riders as a result. they all have a little bit of alchohol on them, some more than others.

mine wouldn't be too far off the mark, but then again i've seen some pretty good ones. so skipping the technical rider and getting right to the personal rider material, i'd have some great but specific food instructions to make sure it wasn't cold cuts or pizza at every stop. i'd have some pelagrino and some decent pale ale at each stop. i love the postcard idea and would be inclined to borrow that for my rider. maybe request an xbox360 in the dressing room with at least two controllers so i could wind down with the bandmates playing rounds of halo. i'd request an internet connection. many big shows have a massuese available first for the band and also for the roadies. that seems cool. i'd also probably do my best to limit the amount of folks backstage. the show i worked at last night, a popular hip hop artist, had a LOT of folks backstage. i'd be more inclined to roll like a perfect circle and try to get as close to nobody backstage as possible. just my preference, and i wouldn't mind sticking that in this rider. (i suppose i think the wings are a more private space not on stage, but still just for the artist. if there is an audience there than you dont' have a little place for yourself). oh, and instead of m&m's i'd probably request charleston chews, the best of all candies. anyhow i like em and having something for a little sugar boost before a show would be cool too. i think i would possibly ask for a juicer so i could have smoothies or fresh carrot juice, which i also love. ok, that's all i can think of for when i'm mega famous and can have a mile long rider.

[jerryskid]

A carton of Kool Milds....condoms....a bottle of Bushmill's....12 Rolling Rocks...Boston Market Chicken (or a reasonable immitation)
lots of insense....a case of Pepsi...ice....sturdy plastic cups...
a chainsaw and a pellet gun (gotta have something to destroy the dressing rooms with)

[Swafford]

Beer, more beer and then some beer to go.

[Spock]

I like that postcard idea, that would be cool. A local newspaper would be nice, I like to see what is important to people in that town. Much more interesting than a big national paper. I would start to get specific about the food, and more than that a place to set down and eat, and not on some hard metal folding chairs. Any more, just from a production standpoint, an internet connection is a must. So much is done by e-mail rather than letters phone calls and faxes.

Beer, I would get very specific about beers.

[bunnerabb]

Something like this:

24 - Heineken in bottles, iced 2 hours before showtime.
24 - Budweiser in cans, iced 2 hours before showtime.
24 - Miller Lite in cans, iced 2 hours before showtime.
01 - Gallon of orange juice. No pulp, iced 2 hours before showtime.
12 - Assorted fruit juices, Snapple, Juicy Juice, or similar.
12 - Freshly laundered terrycloth bath towels, at least 2' x 4' in size.
02 - Deli trays w/ assorted meats, cheeses, sliced tomatoes and lettuce, all fresh. Must be fitted with a cover. Must serve 12 people, liberally and have assorted condiments.
01 - 24 cup coffee urn filled with freshly brewed coffee. Maxwell House is fine. Nothing flavoured.
12 - Assorted types of tea in teabags. Sealed.
01 - 12 cup coffee maker for hot water.
48 - Single serving Sweet and Low sweetener packs.
24 - Single serving packs of sugar.
01 - Jar of honey. Sealed.
06 - Fresh lemons. Wedged, in clean container
06 - Fresh limes. Wedged, in clean container.
01 - Large kitchen knife.
01 - One freshly washed, clean, cutting board.
24 - Styrofoam hot beverage cups in sealed sleeves.
06 - Freshly washed, metal, silverware teaspoons.
06 - Assorted, fresh bagels.
01 - Toaster oven. Clean.
01 - Small refrigerator. Clean.
01 - Pound of butter or margarine.
02 -- Pkgs. Assorted plastic utensils in sealed cartons, kinives, forks, spoons.
01 - Loaf of fresh rye bread.
01 - Loaf of fresh wheat or whole grain bread.
12 - Coca Cola in cans, iced 2 hours before show.
12 - Diet Pepsi in cans, iced 2 hours before show.
12 - Evian water, iced two hours before show. No subsitutes.
12 - Perrier sparkling water, iced 2 hours before show. No substitutes.
01 - Litre Absolut vodka. Sealed bottle.
01 - Litre Jack Daniel's Black Label whiskey. Sealed bottle.
01 - Litre Bacardi rum. Sealed bottle.
48 - Plastic cups in sealed sleeve.
08 - Pounds cubed ice in a clean, insulated ice container.
01 - Pkg. Drink stirrer straws. Sealed package.
01 - Private toilet in lockable stall.
01 - Private, enclosed shower with lockable stall and good supply of hot water.
03 - Seperate, clean, lockable dressing rooms with 20A electrical service and at least two duplex A/C outlets and working heat and/or air conditioning as climate demands.

Artists and crew must have access to the dressing room, shower and toilet facilites upon arrival and throught the performance and until load out has finished.

All ameneties, catering and beverages must be at suitable temperature and accessible no later then two hours before showtime and throughout the performance.

All facilites must be kept secure from access by unauthorised personnel and patrons from the time of arrival of the artist and crew, throughout the entire day of the performance and until load out has finished.

[clicktrack]

Something like this:

24 - Heineken in bottles, iced 2 hours before showtime.
24 - Budweiser in cans, iced 2 hours before showtime.
24 - Miller Lite in cans, iced 2 hours before showtime.
01 - Gallon of orange juice. No pulp, iced 2 hours before showtime.
12 - Assorted fruit juices, Snapple, Juicy Juice, or similar.
12 - Freshly laundered terrycloth bath towels, at least 2' x 4' in size.
02 - Deli trays w/ assorted meats, cheeses, sliced tomatoes and lettuce, all fresh. Must be fitted with a cover. Must serve 12 people, liberally and have assorted condiments.
01 - 24 cup coffee urn filled with freshly brewed coffee. Maxwell House is fine. Nothing flavoured.
12 - Assorted types of tea in teabags. Sealed.
01 - 12 cup coffee maker for hot water.
48 - Single serving Sweet and Low sweetener packs.
24 - Single serving packs of sugar.
01 - Jar of honey. Sealed.
06 - Fresh lemons. Wedged, in clean container
06 - Fresh limes. Wedged, in clean container.
01 - Large kitchen knife.
01 - One freshly washed, clean, cutting board.
24 - Styrofoam hot beverage cups in sealed sleeves.
06 - Freshly washed, metal, silverware teaspoons.
06 - Assorted, fresh bagels.
01 - Toaster oven. Clean.
01 - Small refrigerator. Clean.
01 - Pound of butter or margarine.
02 -- Pkgs. Assorted plastic utensils in sealed cartons, kinives, forks, spoons.
01 - Loaf of fresh rye bread.
01 - Loaf of fresh wheat or whole grain bread.
12 - Coca Cola in cans, iced 2 hours before show.
12 - Diet Pepsi in cans, iced 2 hours before show.
12 - Evian water, iced two hours before show. No subsitutes.
12 - Perrier sparkling water, iced 2 hours before show. No substitutes.
01 - Litre Absolut vodka. Sealed bottle.
01 - Litre Jack Daniel's Black Label whiskey. Sealed bottle.
01 - Litre Bacardi rum. Sealed bottle.
48 - Plastic cups in sealed sleeve.
08 - Pounds cubed ice in a clean, insulated ice container.
01 - Pkg. Drink stirrer straws. Sealed package.
01 - Private toilet in lockable stall.
01 - Private, enclosed shower with lockable stall and good supply of hot water.
03 - Seperate, clean, lockable dressing rooms with 20A electrical service and at least two duplex A/C outlets and working heat and/or air conditioning as climate demands.

Artists and crew must have access to the dressing room, shower and toilet facilites upon arrival and throught the performance and until load out has finished.

All ameneties, catering and beverages must be at suitable temperature and accessible no later then two hours before showtime and throughout the performance.

All facilites must be kept secure from access by unauthorised personnel and patrons from the time of arrival of the artist and crew, throughout the entire day of the performance and until load out has finished.

is this for your 2-piece or 3-piece band?

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[bunnerabb]

is this for your 2-piece or 3-piece band?

:Confused:

7.

Plus crew.

Does it seem excessive?

[bunnerabb]

I left a couple things out.

coffee creamer and a nuke.

[clicktrack]

:Confused:

7.

Plus crew.

Does it seem excessive?
I'm joking, actually....

Although I HAVE seen such a rider for a small 3 piece, which is why I was joking about that :).

[Spock]

I left a couple things out.

coffee creamer and a nuke.

Yea you left this stuff out....

DVD player with assortment of porn

12 large tubes of KY jelly

1 Case of Trojan condoms


:lol: :lol:

[clicktrack]

1 Case of Trojan condoms


:lol: :lol:


Nah...supply your own jimi-hats...you never know which disgruntled ex intercepted the shipment with a safety pin. :icon_eek:

[bobzilla77]

1 Private Dressing Room, at least 15x15, with the floor completely covered in wrestling mats

4 large jars of Liquid Latex, electric blue

1 rubber mask, with mouth zipper

Whips and riding crops, assorted, minimum 14 inches, leather tips

4 large inflatable beach balls

1 fog machine

4 strobe lights

CD player with copy of Throbbing Gristle's "20 Jazz Funk Greats"

1 chicken, in cage

24 bottles of Sierra Nevada, iced 2 hours before showtime

[pounce]

so far i know that -

bunner is the best person in this thread at cut and paste

bobzilla is going to have the most interesting show

[Droolbucket]

1 Private Dressing Room, at least 15x15, with the floor completely covered in wrestling mats

4 large jars of Liquid Latex, electric blue

1 rubber mask, with mouth zipper

Whips and riding crops, assorted, minimum 14 inches, leather tips

4 large inflatable beach balls

1 fog machine

4 strobe lights

CD player with copy of Throbbing Gristle's "20 Jazz Funk Greats"

1 chicken, in cage

24 bottles of Sierra Nevada, iced 2 hours before showtime

How'd you get a copy of Anita Bryant's rider?:icon_eek:

Droolbucket

[Tim Armstrong]

Something like this:

24 - Heineken in bottles, iced 2 hours before showtime.
24 - Budweiser in cans, iced 2 hours before showtime.
24 - Miller Lite in cans, iced 2 hours before showtime.



Bunner, what do you have against the beer drinkers in your band/crew? I mean, c'mon, this is a wish list, wish for something DRINKABLE!

Cheers, Tim

[Swafford]

Yeah, if we're gonna be specific about beer types, make mine a keg of Old Speckled Hen, that shits got mescaline or something in it. And I forgot the bong, must have a bong. I'm 'old school'.

[bunnerabb]

so far i know that -

bunner is the best person in this thread at cut and paste

bobzilla is going to have the most interesting show

I didn't cut and paste shit, yo.

[pounce]

it's written right, i just figured you nicked it from some bands rider that came through. clearly it is modeled after a proper rider, it's the way they need to be done.

[bunnerabb]

As far as beer, that's what the motherfuckers I work with drink, yo.

This aint yacht rock, this is hillbillies on a come up go live, y'all.

:D

[bunnerabb]

it's written right, i just figured you nicked it from some bands rider that came through. clearly it is modeled after a proper rider, it's the way they need to be done.

Typed that from scratch.

Seen a lot of them and, yeah, I'm usually in charge of the hospitality rider for any band I'm in.

[Statick]

when doom band SUNN O))) played in bristol, it was friends of mine who booked the show, so i got to see their rider.

i do remember the line "some local porn" being in there.

[jerryskid]

Throbbing Gristle's "20 Jazz Funk Greats"


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Johnny]

I'd steal the Indian food request from Aerosmith. Maybe Ethiopian.

Other than that, a nice, private, comfortable room, clean bathrooms, water, good coffee, maybe some martini fixins or a nice brandy for after the show.

And frankincense.

[AxeSlash]

1 x case of cider (the drier the better)
2 x case of european bottled beer (the bigger the better)
1 x large bottle of cheap vodka (the cheaper the better)
1 x case of bottled water (the more northern the better)
1 x dude with cash to run to Subway when we get hungry
1 x goddamn heating/air con system that WORKS
2 x footstool
1 x conveyer belt from stage to bus/truck parking area
2 x hairy-arsed sound engineers. Shaven/naturally smooth is not good enough.
1 x effeminate lighting engineer. Shaven. And flightcased.
2 x colostemy bags (full)
2 x large industrial bench vice + bench to mount upon
1 x box of christmas decorations (even if it's summer)
1 x tour bus convertible to a multiple-coffin hearse
2 x crash helmets full (to the brim) of cottage cheese
1 x baseball bat
1 x bag of flour (self raising only please)
47 x copies of "40+" magazine
1 x supermarket shopping trolley
10 x 5' high bowling pins
1 x cameraman + camera for backstage (ab)use


Seriously, we have use for all of the above.



We have asked for the crash helmets full of cottage cheese and the copies of "40+" before, but sadly to no avail.


In real terms, if we've got alcohol, water, food (or at least a nearby takeaway), somewhere to park and a backstage that's not in arctic conditions, we're happy.

[burnsy]

1 x cameraman + camera for backstage (ab)use



In real terms, if we've got alcohol, water, food (or at least a nearby takeaway), somewhere to park and a backstage that's not in arctic conditions, we're happy.


You've just lost me as your camera man lol *jokes* I think sometimes bands get far t o greedy when it comes to riders.

[Starfucker]

I ask for a safe parking area, food (veggie and meat), drinks (bottles or tickets) and a nice backstage and safe area to put our gear. but someone freaked out when she read that we like some tea with honey for should we get sick. And that was at a show where we played for free.

[floodstage]

.....

1 x conveyer belt from stage to bus/truck parking area




THIS one belongs on ALL riders!

[seagate]

Don't forget the gummy bears...
http://homepage.mac.com/mscheurer/.Pictures/tmp/bears.jpg

:)

[jerryskid]

Don't forget the gummy bears...
[




mmmmm.....gummy bears......argggggggggggghhhhhhh

[Spock]

Well hell if we're talking gummy bears, then I got to have the ones from these (http://www.baeren-treff.de/).

The niece just got me a big bag of them from Trier.

[seagate]

Well hell if we're talking gummy bears, then I got to have the ones from these (http://www.baeren-treff.de/).

The niece just got me a big bag of them from Trier.

Uhhh, sorry, they need to be Haribo!!!

[bobzilla77]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

http://www.rosaselvaggia.com/20_jazz_funk_greats.jpg

[pounce]

http://www.rosaselvaggia.com/20_jazz_funk_greats.jpg

just for the record, i own that.

on vinyl.

[seagate]

just for the record, i own that.

on vinyl.

Not sure I would have owned up to that...

[ggunn]

Something like this:

24 - Heineken in bottles, iced 2 hours before showtime.
24 - Budweiser in cans, iced 2 hours before showtime.
24 - Miller Lite in cans, iced 2 hours before showtime.


Why don't you want any good beer? ;^)

[pounce]

Why don't you want any good beer? ;^)

ha ha

so close yet so far.

[graymc]

EDIT

Whoops - wrong thread. Move along - nothing to see here.
:Redface:

[bunnerabb]

Why don't you want any good beer? ;^)

Like I said.. this is the stuff the cats I work with drink.

aint no yuppies in this band.

[ggunn]

Like I said.. this is the stuff the cats I work with drink.

aint no yuppies in this band.

The "Y" in yuppie stands for "young" doesn't it? Well, then, I ain't no yuppie. ;^)

[macfeedback]

Seems like Bunnerabb is one of the few people in show biz that actually reads the rider!

Bottled water at room temperature. What is so fucking complicated?

I could do a whole rant on failures to meet the rider and catering is just part of it. There is transportation, dude shows up with a stretch SUV limo to pick up 6 people with personal luggage and 12 pieces of flight cased equipment..........

Piano tuner must be done at 2:00 pm and only shows up at 2:00 pm.

On and on and on.

Folks like to make an issue over riders but I would like to point out that when said folks at home want to raid their refrigerator at three in the morning they have that liberty. For me, in a hotel room, rare room service is at a premium, likewise the minibar.

So don't fuck with my rider.


OOOPS!

Did not read page two.

Have to add that my rider forbids musicians, artists, their offspring or agents within 500 ft unless they prepay the caterer to fulfill my rider.

[Goes211]

There was a brewer's convention attended by many major beer brands. In the evening, the CEO's all met at the convention center bar for a drink before going out to dinner.
The Heineken boss said 'I'll have a Heineken'
The Stella Artois boss said 'I'll have a Stella'
The Budweiser boss said 'I'll have a Bud'

The Guinness boss said 'I'll have a coffee'.
'What's wrong ?' asked one of the other guys.
'Well...if you guys aren't drinking a beer, neither am I."




















Thank you.
:D

[pounce]

i like the joke, but awww, why do you have to pick on stella. around here, i could find lots of american "beer" to replace the stella to further benefit the punchline. lots of americans drink shitty beer. i dont' know why.

ps: just tried bells two fisted ale. liked it real well.

[Goes211]

i like the joke, but awww, why do you have to pick on stella. around here, i could find lots of american "beer" to replace the stella to further benefit the punchline. lots of americans drink shitty beer. i dont' know why.

ps: just tried bells two fisted ale. liked it real well.

Remember where I live, Pounce (Belgium).
This is the country where Stella Artois is considered to be donkey piss.
Tell me Jupiler or Maes, and I can let you off the hook.
:lol:

[pounce]

Remember where I live, Pounce (Belgium).
This is the country where Stella Artois is considered to be donkey piss.
Tell me Jupiler or Maes, and I can let you off the hook.
:lol:

and i live something like 5 miles away from where they make budweiser and bud light. so you turn up your nose to stella, but in a race to the bottom of the beer barrel, we americans have you beat! :)

[clicktrack]

and i live something like 5 miles away from where they make budweiser and bud light. so you turn up your nose to stella, but in a race to the bottom of the beer barrel, we americans have you beat! :)

You know, there's a joke that goes around here in Canada...it goes something like this:

"Why is sex on a boat similar to American Beer?"

"They're both fucking close to water"



That said, I don't mind a stella. Even though I know to you belgians, its like our Labatt Blue (our version of cat piss), its DIFFERENT.

Now Creemore. THAT's a beer I think both of you would like.

Once we figure out a way to send beer across the skype line, I'll send some. :D

[lebouche]

:lol: :lol: 1 Private Dressing Room, at least 15x15, with the floor completely covered in wrestling mats

4 large jars of Liquid Latex, electric blue

1 rubber mask, with mouth zipper

Whips and riding crops, assorted, minimum 14 inches, leather tips

4 large inflatable beach balls

1 fog machine

4 strobe lights

CD player with copy of Throbbing Gristle's "20 Jazz Funk Greats"

1 chicken, in cage

24 bottles of Sierra Nevada, iced 2 hours before showtime
:lol: Thank you ...had me in stiches!

I remember taking the piss a little out of the guys in that band Cake. We had just seen them live at the Shepards Bush Empire. All the bigshot execs wernt going to stick around to meet and greet cos their taxis were waiting...me and my buddy Podrick said we'd wait behind. When we went back to see them they had a couple of bowls of chips and a few drinks...I mean litrally a few! So I took the mickey a little and the guy said to me something like "we've been touring for (insert large amount of) years and I've learnt that you always pay for that stuff yourself".
I like that band...nice people and some nice tunes.

My friend used to run a festival and she hired evreyone from Van the Man to Nina Simone and Ray Charles...I'll ask her if she can remember any specific riders.
So if I was paying for the rider myself I might skip the liquid electric blue latex...I'd prob keep the chicken in a cage just for kicks.

[jacvenza]

I will not even mention beer. See it as a human right when playing...

1. One shithuose i pure gold.
2. A personal italian chef....who cooks whatever I want.

:grin: